So you're waiting for the door For the shut of the door Once it's closed, you'll scratch and bleed Try so hard To satisfy your need He broke your heart, indulged in you But now he's gone You know it's true You know he's all right All right in your mind You tuck him in at night But it's all in your mind You'll love him Bleed for him But it's all in your mind You'll want him You'll need him The lost cause that's your mind The door is closed, the opportunity reversed When the dam is broken Remember you didn't rehearse But the fragile state, of your glassy mind Is bent out of shape The mirror in your mind You know he's all right All right in your mind You tuck him in at night But it's all in your mind You'll love him Bleed for him But it's all in your mind You'll want him You'll need him The lost cause that's your mind
Great to see more people coming in and posting their stuff,its like in the past week or so I have seen some 5 or 6 new people posting here,its great,and about the poem,its a good poem,sounds like you had great emotions wiriting the poem,cool write,hope to see more of your stuff,keep it up.
this goes for "myobsession" as well: i was afraid to post my poems here cuz i thought everybody would laugh and i felt embarassed, cuz very talented people are posting here. but how can you improve if you dont practice? let people criticise your work so they can give good & bad feedbacks, point your mistakes out, etc. this way, you'll know what to do the next time you write something. you dont have to follow other people's ideas exactly, it's just to give you an idea of how it could look better. I believe that as long as you are comfortable with it and satisfied because you said what you wanted to say, its ok. and for this poem, i believe its really powerful, deep and just amazing. please don't stop writing!!