Absolution White Widow 'till I whiteout an absence of doubt feelings, emotions, crumpled, tossed out vision blurred by white lines too far gone to drive drowning white guilt with White Russian am I alive self-preservation keeps telling me to swerve, strike a nerve self-esteem pushes me to strive for less than I deserve as my conscience asks why I think such things is it 'cause I hate myself or love my dreams nightmares, sly smiles mask mute screams this is my affliction, can you cull the disease I wake up a victim, my cycle of masochism this schism is a carnal cataclysm a white mouse for your ill-gotten cures drug me, rape me, please just take what's yours leave the cage open, as if I would dare hold me down, don't let go, thousand yard stare affinity for white lies, on my knees for communion red wine and bitter white absolution swallowing the sorrow, wallowing in woe a shower of tears, I'm caught in the undertow slit wrists, pale lips, heart cold and bare drops of blood pooled by grief and despair I fueled a pyre, took my place at the stake sacrificial wretch for impiety oh so fake senses sterilized but it's all for naught priceless epiphanies bought but untouched by train of thought pining melancholia finally numb idol all the boys run to as the rush comes love is like picking a white rose in full bloom I'm a little girl licking clean an open wound white dove in hand, I receive all the blame waiting for shame to relieve all the pain waiting for shame to relieve all the pain waiting for shame to relieve all the pain