A Soldiers Cry

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by sickcycle, May 2, 2005.

  1. #1
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    A Soldiers Cry

    Alongside the soldier his spirit harkens
    Calling out for death, so that he may escape
    This field of fate, fire, and the hope that darkens

    Hands covered in dirt, blood, and damnation
    Still gripping his weapon, but fumbling confidence
    His eyes strain, looking over the slaughter for elation

    The ghosts rise, and fall from their human hosts
    Both friend and foe, their bodies now empty
    But not this soldier, he is forced to watch the lost

    The demons are playing, tormenting the dead
    While screams filter through smoke and tears pour
    “Oh where is Heaven’s mercy?!” is what he said

    To rolling black clouds, that closed their gates
    To God that is behind them, as He turns His face
    To the evil that lay in front of him, who eagerly awaits

    “Where is mercy, to whom is she comforting, it is not I”
    For evil prevails all around him, while the innocent suffer
    For she has gone to the one, whom sent him there to die
     
  2. #2
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Good job.
     
  3. #3
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

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    This is worth more than a "good job." This is excellent. I love the entire poem, but my favorite part is...

    To rolling black clouds, that closed their gates
    To God that is behind them, as He turns His face
    To the evil that lay in front of him, who eagerly awaits


    All of it is great though.

    According to this, you have a lot of talent in writing. I'm going to go check out some more of your stuff. ;)
     
  4. #4
    Glue

    Glue Well-Known Member

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    nice...great effort
     
  5. #5
    Awesome*Kryptonite

    Awesome*Kryptonite Well-Known Member

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    hey.

    Your a talented writer, your work is Awesome!

    From Awesome*Kryptonite! :cloud:
     
  6. #6
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    i have to agree! the poem is very powerful and the topic is a good choice too!

    funking fab! :lol:
     
  7. #7
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Absolutely AWSOME, great poem, havn't seen much of your stuff in a while, i only didn't likek the line
    it didn't seem to fit to me and it felt like it was added for the rhyme of dead and said, but that is my only criticism.
     
  8. #8
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the criticism, aways welcome. Thanks you all.
     
  9. #9
    LP_Freak_2735

    LP_Freak_2735 Well-Known Member

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    Wow. You always write so well. This blows me away, It is amazing. Keep writing, I love it.

    <3
     

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