A Soldiers Cry Alongside the soldier his spirit harkens Calling out for death, so that he may escape This field of fate, fire, and the hope that darkens Hands covered in dirt, blood, and damnation Still gripping his weapon, but fumbling confidence His eyes strain, looking over the slaughter for elation The ghosts rise, and fall from their human hosts Both friend and foe, their bodies now empty But not this soldier, he is forced to watch the lost The demons are playing, tormenting the dead While screams filter through smoke and tears pour “Oh where is Heaven’s mercy?!” is what he said To rolling black clouds, that closed their gates To God that is behind them, as He turns His face To the evil that lay in front of him, who eagerly awaits “Where is mercy, to whom is she comforting, it is not I” For evil prevails all around him, while the innocent suffer For she has gone to the one, whom sent him there to die
This is worth more than a "good job." This is excellent. I love the entire poem, but my favorite part is... To rolling black clouds, that closed their gates To God that is behind them, as He turns His face To the evil that lay in front of him, who eagerly awaits All of it is great though. According to this, you have a lot of talent in writing. I'm going to go check out some more of your stuff.
Absolutely AWSOME, great poem, havn't seen much of your stuff in a while, i only didn't likek the line it didn't seem to fit to me and it felt like it was added for the rhyme of dead and said, but that is my only criticism.