A Saviour

dont know how good i am at positive poems, although this still talks about darkness. but anyway. here we go. please give me your thoughts. if you thought it wasnt that good, tell me.

A Saviour

When I see your face,
All my problems leave,
To me you are an angel,
You saved me when I needed you,
When I was lost and alone,
And all I could se was darkness,
You showed me the doors of heaven,
And gave me life again.

You are my guardian, my saviour,
You saved me in my darkest hour,
When I was so close to finished,
So close to being defeated,
What was life worth living for,
‘Till I saw that smile,
That brought back the warmth I lost,
To the cold that had settled inside me

I was stuck somewhere so dark I couldn’t see,
Yet you showed me that paradise was so close,
You showed me that my heart wasn’t lost,
Only buried under so much hate,
So much despair and pain,
Some where no one dared to tread,
But you new the path to my heart,
And brought it back from the dead,

And now today I pray you don’t leave,
Because without you,
I’m only half a man,
You make me whole,
You fill me with warmth,
Without you I can’t do anything,
So stay with me, hold me tight,
Don’t let me slip back into the darkness.

 

this was pretty good. give yourself a pat on the back.

this gave me a little tear in the eye, very beautiful.

 

Thanks, your comments are much apriciated

 

I guess you're not really used to write positive poems, but this wasn't bad at all. I believe your hate ones are more powerful, cuz i guess they are more realistic, depending on the moment you are going through. If you work on it, i think you'll get really good on the field. but i know you also understand that memorizing a dictionary or finding the coolest rhymes just isnt enough. you have to feel it too. So, i guess you have to go deeper and explore that side of yours that's there waiting to be free. I liked this one, its different from all the poems ive seen (yours & on LPA ). good job, keep it up!

 

Another good poem.

 

Thanks, i wasn't sure about the reaction of this poem, as i see the darkness of the world much easyer than what i have written about. so i'm back to darker poems for now. thanks for all your comments

 

Thanks, i wasn't sure about the reaction of this poem, as i see the darkness of the world much easyer than what i have written about. so i'm back to darker poems for now. thanks for all your comments [/b][/quote]
don't worry, as long as you feel comfortable with it and you say what you want to say, it's fine. it doesn't matter if it's possitive or negative.

 

Great work, very positive representation of someone who is everything to a person in the "darkness"; we've all had these types of people who've meant everything in times of need, great word usage too.