I'm kinda new at writing raps,so there would be a few bits that i would have to scream.But. here goes Destructible sky Sitting in my room lookin’ at the TV All I see is fascists staring back at me Everything is dirt in my mouth Gun at my face, don’t know what its all about [I don’t understand and I can’t grip it One more attack and I think I will flip it You attack me to make you happy But it just leaves me feeling crappy] Chorus Break my legs and deter my passion Just because I am in the wrong fashion Doused in petrol - and set alight Attraction for moths in the middle of the night [] Chorus The world, the whole scene, it is political Understand that you must, ‘cause it’s critical I can’t explain to you, the way I feel I am I’ll put it this way, I’m not your biggest fan Verbal nukes there for disarming While peaceful countries be re-arming They’ll own you, so , just drop it So close you can reach out and touch it [] Chorus The destructible sky drops to the floor Causin' death but you callin' for more Destruction is measured by the quality While you all forget, we need equality [] Chorus
It's not Mike's style at all. I'm sorry to those who think it is. It's completely different. But about your rap, it's pretty basic. Being a good emcee or a lyricist doesn't come naturally. It takes lots of practice. Practice dude. Write a bunch more of these and they'll be a lot better.
thanks for your input,but you didnt say how to improve,so i'm lost with you,and what do you mean by basic
i said practice.. basic doesnt mean bad either.. the best rappers in the world werent born great lyracists or emcees.. they practiced.. a lot.. you also have to do some studying.. hahah
i'd say, you are very used to poems, the words that one uses in poems reaches the highest standards of the english language, and if i may, i should say that you've nearly gotten there...i'm not trying to be nice, but frank, instead...and the habit has bitten you in your rap aswell that forces or rather just gravitates the sophistication towards itself. shinoda style is deep and always doubly meant, unlike other rap creations which i would rather consider BASIC. he adds a sense of poetic emotions to all his works that make his magnificent pieces stand out...that's the reason for my comparision, but definitely shinoda's accomplishments are a dream for every writer. i could change that comment of mine, tune it perhaps..."an ammateur shinoda but growing healthy" practice is good dude...you'll be up high soon enough...keep it up!