84 Things To Do at Wal-Mart

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Terry, Nov 6, 2003.

  1. #1
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    84 Things To Do At Wal-Mart

    1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
    and stranding them at strategic locations.

    2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

    3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
    throughout the day.

    4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
    to join in.

    5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
    spray air fresheners.

    6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

    7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

    8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

    9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
    especially thin narrow aisles.

    10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
    think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what
    happens.

    11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
    and turn the volumes to "10".

    12. Play with the automatic doors.

    13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen
    you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid
    embarrassment.

    14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
    yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,
    anyway?"

    15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

    16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're
    taking it for a "test drive."

    17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
    five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
    department.

    18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
    as your playing field.

    19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
    mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

    20. Put M&M's on layaway.

    21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

    22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
    only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

    23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from
    the other aisles.

    24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

    25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
    saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

    26. TP as much of the store as possible.

    27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

    28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
    upside down.

    29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
    "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

    30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
    employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any
    Shnerples here?"

    31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
    battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

    32. Take bets on the battle described above.

    33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

    34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
    "Mission: Impossible."

    35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
    squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I
    need some tampons!!"

    36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

    37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

    38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

    39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

    40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
    your Twinkies?"

    41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

    42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

    43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
    food aisle, etc.

    44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

    45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
    restrooms

    46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
    something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

    47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

    48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
    assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those
    voices again!"

    49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

    50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
    relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
    that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little
    umbrella in it.

    51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
    possible "sex and candy"

    52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your
    head and walk around the store casually.

    53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
    mannequins.

    54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

    55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run
    between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

    56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
    while you pick your nose.

    57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
    (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

    58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
    ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
    as spastic as possible.

    59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and
    women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

    60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
    everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

    61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with
    various funnels.

    62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
    through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare
    them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

    63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
    and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is
    breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you
    do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was
    another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME
    darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto
    the ground screaming and having convulsions.

    64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
    out.

    65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
    begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

    66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
    shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the
    boxes and throw it in various aisles.

    67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

    68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
    perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another
    girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.
    "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy
    shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.
    "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

    69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
    carts when they don't realize it!

    70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
    super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean
    in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front
    of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the
    perfume!!"

    71. Hit on the elderly.

    72. Hit on 5 year olds.

    73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly
    move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
    as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
    ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
    crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was
    the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!
    Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

    74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

    75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
    Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

    76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a
    prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to
    people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

    77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your
    friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those
    electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they
    don't know you.

    78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
    toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend
    that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over
    wanting to use it, start barking at them until
    they run away crying.

    79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
    customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your
    friend.

    80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

    81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

    82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

    82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
    "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter
    Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of
    french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say
    "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you
    say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from
    Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like
    everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away
    mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-
    like as you can

    83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
    asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
    your friends seem to have a rash too.

    84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
    "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern
    person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old
    girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should
    sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly
    good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta
    Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.
     
  2. #2
    Anthony.

    Anthony. .Orestes LPA Super VIP

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    LOL :D . Wal-Marts will seem less boring to me now :D . But I'm not sure I'm gonna do this (my fav. one is the one in the hunting departement but we have no here, Canada and firearms :D ...).
     
  3. #3
    Kæton

    Kæton is Keaton LPA Über VIP

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    I've done a few. It's fun for awhile until a, you get kicked out, or b, people don't notice, lol.

    There's a lot more evil ones than the ones you've listen, and my friend is "banned" for attempting them... Not like Wal-Mart would remember your face, anyways :p.
     
  4. #4
    Will

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    I didn't read through that, but my friends and I want to go out and do this:

    What you do is take something into Walmart with you. The greeter always puts a smilie sticker on whatever you bring in with you (at least they do around here). So, what you do is go find something you want and put the sticker on it so it looks like it's yours, and you attempt to walk out with it.

    We want to try it on one of those big grills, lmfao.
     
  5. #5
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    A STICKER?


    :lol: lmfao.
     
  6. #6
    Will

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    A STICKER?


    :lol: lmfao. [/b][/quote]
    Yeah. They do that so that the workers know that it's yours.

    Like, if I took my CD player in there, they'd put a yellow smilie sticker on it to show that it's mine.
     
  7. #7
    Kæton

    Kæton is Keaton LPA Über VIP

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    Yeah. They do that so that the workers know that it's yours.

    Like, if I took my CD player in there, they'd put a yellow smilie sticker on it to show that it's mine. [/b][/quote]
    Careful, that's what my friend tried :chemist:.

    He made a big scene about it, then they demanded to either call his parents or they'd police, and his parents ratted him out, lol.
     
  8. #8
    Anthony.

    Anthony. .Orestes LPA Super VIP

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    Yeah. They do that so that the workers know that it's yours.

    Like, if I took my CD player in there, they'd put a yellow smilie sticker on it to show that it's mine. [/b][/quote]
    LOL. If you do this you must film it :D . Just to see the way people will react :D .
     
  9. #9
    Todd

    Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

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    Yeah, do those at Walmart, because if you ever came into the Target I work at and pulled that crap, I'd bust a cap in yo ass
     
  10. #10
    dlpalex

    dlpalex Well-Known Member

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    That is so freaking funny. I have to try at least 5 of those the next time I go to Wal-mart.
     
  11. #11
    Leslie

    Leslie huh? LPA Super Member

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    :lol:
    This is some funny sh*t... gotta try some of these! My friends and I went into a Rite-Aid and they had an outdoor table and chair set out, so we grabbed some magazines and sat down to read. Then the evil manager came over and told us not to sit there... we told him we were testing the chairs out, and he just gave us a dirty look, so we left. :lol: Hey, what if we really WERE testing them out... he could have lost a sale there... ^_^
     
  12. #12
    ailuj

    ailuj Well-Known Member

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    Things are totally different in Asia countries......
     
  13. #13
    Whimsicality

    Whimsicality I broke the dam.

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    Wow. The first 52 of those were written by a friend of mine, and over the past few months we've been circulating them around the internet...that's so awesome that it's gotten to the point where it's been not only added onto but posted on a band message board!
     
  14. #14
    Cal

    Cal LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    run with a tony the tiger suit on and throw all the other brands of cereal on the ground and stamp on them


    am i the only one that wants to do this?
     
  15. #15
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    I've actually done alot of those, except I did them at the movies so yeah. One of the was #72 - Hit on 5 year olds lol I did that.....don't ask me why lmao. I was a little whacked up and I dunno I was just strange that night.....o_O
     
  16. #16
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    Another thing to do is announce you are going to steal something and see how many people follow you around the store then. Cassie and I were at Zellers(like Wal-Mart) and her brother picks up a 'Finding Nemo' DvD and it was inside a cardboard sleeve and he says loudly right by customer service "You could take out the DvD and steal this" and made a fake motion to put in into his jacket. I felt so uncomfortable being in the store from then on. :lol:
     

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