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Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Steph, Aug 4, 2003.

  1. #1
    Steph

    Steph Ambient

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    I cant seem to come up with a chorus, but tell me what you think so far.....

    You wanted everything from me
    All that I have come to be
    You never listened to what I said
    All your insults keep running through my head

    I took the time out/ to be by your side
    When I'd call on you/ You'd run and hide
    With all the lies you've thrown at me
    It never gave me a chance/ That time to breathe

    Over and done with, now I'm gone
    It's no use letting this go on
    I'm gonna keep you, from dragging me down
    I'm gonna shut this door, and not turn around.
     
  2. #2
    LinkinTheory

    LinkinTheory Well-Known Member

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    Good but you need a chorus, or it's just a poem. (7 half/10)
     
  3. #3
    Steph

    Steph Ambient

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    nope...it's a song, I just can't seem to make a good chorus..., but 7 1/2...wow...thanks :D
     
  4. #4
    Steph

    Steph Ambient

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    bump
     
  5. #5
    LornVourkolakas

    LornVourkolakas About To Blow Chunks

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    I didn't like this one as much as the other. Probably cuz of the missing chorus. But still a great job. :)
     
  6. #6
    Steph

    Steph Ambient

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    hey, thats cool.....some works are bound to be crappier than others......
     

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