Mystified

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Rohit LP, Jun 26, 2010.

  1. #1
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    (i wrote this one..coz i wanted to redirect my anger)


    In this race against time, I awake in a storm,
    Wind-walking in places where I don’t belong,
    I can see the flare, burning in your eyes,
    I’ll be there, be there in a disguise

    Theres a face inside me, asking why,
    Confusing me, while I look at the sky,

    In the end, I’m gonna break this mirror
    And face what lies behind,

    Cause,

    It cant be justified,
    In this divide, theres nothing to decide,
    In this void I cannot survive,
    I’m just so mystified,

    So mystified,



    I’m so dry, even as I struggle underwater,
    I see floating memories getting scattered,
    Still somehow they prevent the light coming through the surface,
    I’m not sure, if its you I’m gonna embrace,

    The face inside now knows why,
    That I no longer stare at the sky,

    Behind the shattered glass, I’m surprised,
    To see the truth fighting with lies,

    Cause,

    It cant be justified,
    In this divide, theres nothing to decide,
    In this void I cannot survive,
    I’m just so mystified,

    So mystified,


    just so mystified,

    So mystified,

    Just so mystified,
    So mystified.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2010
  2. #2
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    guys..plz let me kno ur views....and suggestions..
     
  3. #3
    ScatterMatter

    ScatterMatter Well-Known Member

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    I think it's really good, if I may suggest, taking the first line to the chorus "I'm so mystified" out it would transition much better I think. You say it again so it's not like it's losing the point, though it is a short chorus, just a thought, dunno.

    I do like it though :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
  4. #4
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    yeah i agree..its a short chorus...i put it there for some unknown sense of symmetry...can u suggest a better line in its place..coz i wul like to hav four lines...
     
  5. #5
    ScatterMatter

    ScatterMatter Well-Known Member

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    "I just can't justify" ? It fits I think, makes sense with what it says also.
     
  6. #6
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    yeah..in similar thots...but..well..i was like...ohk..im mystified..these are the effects..and then again stressin on that im mystified..
     
  7. #7
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    doesnt rhyme...

    well..it makes sense..i agree der..


    how about..it cant be justfied....rhymes a bit more..
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2010
  8. #8
    ScatterMatter

    ScatterMatter Well-Known Member

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    Ohh, yeah that works even better, I wasn't thinking. :lol:
     
  9. #9
    Rohit LP

    Rohit LP The Silent Red

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    ok im editin....

    does it sound better now..??
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010

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