I thought it'd be cool to have a jokes thread where people share some awesome funny jokes. I wanna stress that no racist/homophobic jokes will be tolerated in this thread. Also, try to keep it somewhat clean - I know what you guys are like. Anyhoo, fire away.
i'll start and write first joke (and im sorry for my bad english ) : 1\ A girl her mom sent her to bring some stuffs from the market, but the girl came LATE, so her mom was upset ! MOM : where you'v been all that time ????? GL: mom, when i was coming back to home, i find some boys playing football, and the ball stuck in a tree, so i decided to help them, and i climbed the tree ! MOM : WHAT !!! did they see your underware when you climbed the tree ???? GL : no no no, im smart, before i go up, i REMOVE IT ! 2\ A drugged guy fell down from 9th floor from a building, then ALL people came around and asked him: Hey man whats happen ??? the guy(drugged) : i don't know, i just came !!!!!!!!! 3\ a homeless dog, were wallking in the street, then he pass by a police station, then he saw the Police Dog, standing, then he said inside of him ..... ooooh wish i finished my high school !!!
Hahaha I love the last one Here's one from me: Before William became a writer he tried to be a sketch artist but had a hard time making up his mind which pencil to use. It was always the same thing... 2b or not 2b.
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?" "Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?" "Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster." "I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick ___________ John clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' John grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'' No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down I D 1 0 T (mouse over) ____________ A lady walks into a fancy bar on top of a thirty story building and sees a really good looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says. She thinks he's a little crazy,so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?" "Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it. "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building three times and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer,so the guys says to the bartender,"Give her one of what I'm having." She gets her drink, takes a gulp of beer, jumps out of the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."