It is time to play with ghouls and ghosts The vampires are coming and humans are their hosts For this evening, one evening a year On this imperfect planet, on this sphere The kids think it's the new joke "Don't be afraid" each other spoke Frankenstein is coming with his dead wife The bride in white, and in one hand, a knife These were real but the kids didn't know that Each of them scurried the streets, like a common rat Dracula's eyes looked like a stoner's red eyes But he knew that he wasn't going to be the one that dies Cinderella was once nice but now naughty Her views were narrow and somewhat haughty Her stepsisters and stepmother had turned her this way One day she was nice, the complete opposite the next day Snow White now was anything but a snow white Her colours were dark and she was anything but polite Her dwarves were her army of little men Who when not harming, were watching ESPN Bambi now was a deer that was high on crack She was driven by paranoia, and was ready to attack This was Halloween And it was time for them to make a scene Bambi and Cinderella had teamed up to fight Using the technology of infra-red light They attacked but they each got to take their turn to stumble And eventually, the pair did crumble Against a pack of kids that knew what they were up against Their smartness had together been condensed Into one big brain that thought for them all It was that or lose to a bunch of characters for them to only fall Dracula was up next with his fangs drawn And in a matter of minutes, he was dead, he was gone Dracula was once to to be immortal And he was sent to a grave by an appearing portal Snow White was up next with her loyal servants at her hand She was the Queen, to them, of all this land Snow White directed for them to attack the small group Who wanted to turn the dwarves into their own special soup Fists were thrown under the glow of the burning torches As innocent and frightened souls looked on from their front porches Stomaches were kicked and bruises were made And when it came to the last dwarf to stand, he pulled out a blade He swung it in the air and tried to defend his Queen For he tried not to be too obscene For his Queen was delicate but somehow violent And in matter of minutes, he was a corpse that was now silent It was Snow White on her own now as the kids closed in Frankenstein had been killed and washed away his only sin Which was to love his wife for eternity For that was his only followed fraternity Snow White screamed and she begged the kids to forget About everything and that she was in their debt The kids shook their heads and denied her that compliance For she could never be allowed to be their alliance Snow White died a slow and painful death The kids can almost remember the cadence of her last breath Halloween had been canceled for it was an instigator of riots And for people who refused to go on diets
It was..okay. A lot of the rhyming seems forced and some of the lines are just bad. Other than that I liked the theme, but using that title is just blasphemy.
Bambi now was a deer that was high on crack She was driven by paranoia, and was ready to attack This was Halloween And it was time for them to make a scene Really?
Thanks for the constructive feedback Chris Yeah I was considering putting the title This Was Halloween as I didn't mention that it is halloween in the poem.
I like the idea, but you've got to work on your rhymes a little bit. I don't think one of Snow White's dwarves is going to be watching ESPN. Like Chris said, the rhymes seem a bit forced.
Thank you Will Yeah I admit it was a bit rushed and not one of my greatest poems. I wanted to do something like Minutes to Midnight, but I think I rather failed. Man, now I wanna go watch The Nightmare Before Christmas which I haven't watched in ages