Poisonous, poisonous. Well, the joke's on us.

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Seinfeld, Feb 16, 2009.

  1. #1
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,653
    Likes Received:
    4



    Please, do dig a bit deeper, before critisizing. This is not about poisoning...well...maybe in some metaphorical manner, but other than that, I'd really like you to read deeper into the lines and try to find out what this is about.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Poisonberry, dearest poisonberry
    I feel you; 41 beating my forehead
    I can still taste you, so sweet
    Yet I must sweat you out, tonight
    alone in this hospital bed

    I'd hate to blame you for this predicament
    yet somehow, I must
    I hope to meet you once more
    And in you, I trust

    The doctors say I will shed this cloud of haze
    And I will be up and well in a matter of days

    Yet I see through their lies; How they have so cleverly guised
    my recovery as the severance
    of what has been labeled an acquaintance of the most curious kind
     
  2. #2
    Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

    Joined:
    May 13, 2008
    Messages:
    8,909
    Likes Received:
    12



    This is rather an odd poem to be honest, I can't think of what it could be about rather than just poisoning. To me, the structure to me is odd as well which affects the flow of it and it doesn't seem to have consistency. I would have liked to see more of this poem and I did think you stopped it suddenly.
     
  3. #3
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,653
    Likes Received:
    4



    All very intentional to boast it's effect...assuming of course the reader has experienced what I'm talking about...which is pretty common.

    Oh and...when I said dig a little deeper, I meant: Look out for metaphors and such.

    Poisonberry...is a metaphor
    41...is a metaphor

    ...and the structure is supposed to give it a very confused feel. So I guess I've achieved a tad of what I was trying to.
     
  4. #4
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2005
    Messages:
    5,922
    Likes Received:
    50



    This has to be about alcohol haha :)

    Great job man, I really like it
     
  5. #5
    Ophelia

    Ophelia LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Messages:
    3,918
    Likes Received:
    34



    I think its about withdrawal symptoms, from what I am not quite sure though. Possibly IV drugs?

    Anyway, its really well written and it made me curious about what the hidden meaning is.
     
  6. #6
    Nick

    Nick Great Job! LPA Super VIP

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2005
    Messages:
    8,563
    Likes Received:
    12



    Something about a girl?

    They can be poison when in the right (or wrong) situation.
     
  7. #7
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,653
    Likes Received:
    4



    Well, First, I'd like to thank you all for your input.

    And I usually don't say what a poem should mean, because I like to let people see what they'd like,

    but I guess this one just wants to get out.

    It is about drug abuse. More OD.

    Poisonberry = Substance
    41 = Temperature in celsius

    Those were the most dificult metaphors in this poem...I just though I'd uncover those, because a few people already had problems finding out what they meant.
     
  8. #8
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,837
    Likes Received:
    645



    I like it. I thought it was about how people love someone and when they don't love you back.. and you sometimes do stupid things and feel certain ways. Honestly I thought the whole thing was a metaphor. I was really wrong. :lol :
     
  9. #9
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,653
    Likes Received:
    4



    A poem is what it is...

    you see one thing, someone else sees something different...just the way it works.

    Doesn't mean you're wrong. Just means you interpreted it differently.
     

Share This Page