I wanted to make a thread that would expand our minds and give us all a chance to tell us how we feel about certain things. I belive that this is a mature forum with mature and intelligent people that are capable of discussing such things. To start off. Psychology: 1. the science of the mind or of mental states and processes. 2. the science of human and animal behavior. 3. the sum or characteristics of the mental states and processes of a person or class of persons, or of the mental states and processes involved in a field of activity: the psychology of a soldier; the psychology of politics. 4. mental ploys or strategy: He used psychology on his parents to get a larger allowance. Dictionary.com I welcome you to discuss any subject as long as the moderators here deem it as appropriate. The first thing I'd like to discuss is why that in America the subject of sex and sexuality is often shied away. Why is it that so many people think it is bad to embrace ones differences in body. How is it that the more we learn about anatomy the more some people try to hide it and label it as filthy. Or contrary why do some people feel that it is not bad. If you have any opinions or insight on this or any other subject that has to do directly with Psychology I welcome you to post it here. Whether it be why people hate, your fears, your hopes, dreams, relationships or even understanding why and how people seem and develop the urdge to kill. Let's all engage in conversation and expand our minds.
Historically, Sex and Sexuality is often shielded away due to the continuing past generations being taught and handed down, therefore, it is natural that one teaches his/her child that it is bad to publicly view. It's for the child's protection, they say, because the child could learn, ask what it is, and humiliate themselves or embarrass each other at school or any where publicly. Parents also fear that the child may do some bad things, as to attempt to re-enact when the parents value the Virginity of the child. (As it is Sacred to the past Generations due to Religious Doctrines. I really don't know, But it seems that might be one plausible psychological reason why it's often shielded away.
Sex seemed to be shielded after being labeled as sinful by religion- something else that is always shielded. There's really nothing wrong with it, it is certainly no worse than something like violence.
The inherent problem with sex and sexuality is that it is meant to be a private, in-home sort of thing, if that makes any sense. That is why it is such a taboo subject outside of the home. Think about it, what are you more likely to talk about at a formal dinner: How your children are doing in school, or what positions you used when you were making love to your wife the night before? It just is not something that is meant to be talked about, and it is directly because of that that advertisers, entertainers, and the media use sex to attract viewers and customers and whatnot: Because you are not "allowed" or "meant to" see it, if you follow me. As for me, I would rather my children learn about sex than violence. I have lived 21-and-a-half years and I've never gotten in a physical fight with anyone, and I will be content if I can live the rest of my life without ever getting into a physical fight. I would prefer it if my children were the same way. And if they learn about sex properly, then they can take that knowledge and teach others, including their children. It is all different in every culture, but that is pretty much my view on it.
No, but see, Will, why is it meant to be private? Who determined that? I mean, I personally agree with what you say and there's nothing wrong with it, but the idea is to try and find what determines that standard, so to speak. It's like asking why children don't learn profanity, but why can't they say it? Are they just words or are they taboo? What makes them taboo and why should they / should they not be? It's that idea. If you ask me, I think historically it had to do with the change in ideas. Before the Enlightenment and really during the times of the Greek and Roman empires, the body was embraced and sexuality and eroticism was more embraced. During the Enlightenment, the focus shifted from more physical things to the more mental and intellectual aspect of humanity, hence the focus on literature and architecture. And I think with the influx of such of focus came the departure of the importance or significance of, not essentially the human anatomy, but sexuality. Not to mention that around that time, there was a lot of pre-marital sex and it wasn't common for many illegitimate children to be born. This brings about a whole other topic, but this was seen as taboo, so perhaps the process behind it (a.k.a sex) became taboo alongside it. Another thing I want to bring into the discussion is the focus on extremes. It seems that with most people, it's either no sex (the idea of complete puritanism (not the religion, but the concept of being completely pure)) or sex all the time on display (pornography). I think the problem has been, alongside just about everything, putting the issue into moderation. But what defines moderation? Does it require moderation? Really, it's just a difficult topic, and it's one of those things you have to research and find out era-by-era mentality.
It's like that with every taboo... No smoking at all - excessive smoking No drinking at all - excessive drinking What children may not speak of, they will experience at some point and experiment with it. Talking to children takes away many questions and help them make right choices. Interesting enough: A child's fear is based on those of it's parents. If it's mother has a fear of spiders and freaks out everytime she sees one, the child will create it's own fear, based on the parents reaction. (Of course it will experiment a tad with 'spider-encounters', but in most cases the parent will forbid the child to play with the spider, because of it's own fear.) So basically, any taboo, will seem a tad intriguing to the child. It's the parents reaction to the child's behavior towards the taboo, that will determine the child's further actions. (Not just my opinion, but also something I picked up somewhere...dunno)
As far as I knew, it was before the Enlightenment that sexuality was demonized, it began around the beginning of the uprise of our current religions. I could be wrong, but books like The Bible do clearly show a less that positive attitude toward sex, and men were circumscribed to prevent masturbation.
Both. Children shouldn't be shielded from anything. Now, that's not to imply that young children should be exposed to graphic pornography and violent films, but they should become more acquainted with reality as they get older. Parents just need to be honest with their children, because sheltering them from everything bad or obscene in life isn't going to do them any favors in the long run. I was pretty much raised by this philosophy and I haven't turned into some vile, sadomasochistic, sexual deviant.
To a dark, lost and twisted mind that could be taken very, very wrongly. I've always been interested to see how our brain works on a subconscious level like when a person is thinking over a decision or dreaming. I've never gotten any further than thinking about it though.
Both are subjects that require moderation upon exposure. A lot of the reason some people take subjects to the extreme is because they were over-exposed to them. If you give a kid too much violence, whether it be a father abusing his wife in front of the child, or the child him/herself being abused by the parent(s), that child is prone to doing the same thing being older, because the child might not know any better. It's a similar thing with sex. You want to explain what sex is in the matter of what it is commonly viewed as: recreation with affection. If you show the child pornography at a young age, they're going to view it as just that: sex without purpose, sex for pleasure and pleasure alone. If you don't show the child sex at all, they're going to think that, at first sight, it's not something good. It's common that what someone isn't familiar with is harmful or evil, in their perspective. So it's a matter of showing both with moderation and discretion. There's no either-or. Because showing one comes at the expense of the other.
I wouldn't expose my kid to either. However someday they will be exposed to sex and possibly violence. Whatever that situation that might be that will lead up to that event, I just know that before hand as a parent, it would be my job to inform and educate my kid about both. Especially considering what kind of world we live in today. I think they need to be prepared for experiencing one if not the other. As a parent you don't need to expose your child to stuff like that, infact you shouldn't. But educating them about the matter is the best thing for you to do.
I guess I could rephrase it ( For a much bigger difference in comparison) Would you rather show your kid <use your imagination for a title/genre> Pornography or a full on series of horror, Kick ass action, bloody weird action, murderous things and cruel things. (But let's get to a new topic on this shall we?) Reading the News thread, and all that had me wondering. Do you believe that Religion has to do anything in subconsciousness to make you do anything. There could be many and far things to say or do. For example, If you had to make (say) a Policy. And it was to Tax on guns and shells, upping the cost per box of munitions by 5%. What would urge you to push that policy/Bill? Is it our Notion that Killing humans = bad? but If it's so, where did the notion come up? Back Before Christ's, Sacrifices of humans were a common-place. (Also, I took a class in ancient mythology, the gods shagged alot of their cousins and sisters for fun, yet we frown on it. Odd eh?) And if you do, how much does it affect you (or others in a group mind-set)? ^ btw I'm a terrible open question maker.