Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

That's for freaking sure.

--

Cape Cod was really nice. And Josh seems more lovey and sweet then he has before.

And oh, wow, he got his dick pierced. He's been wanting to do it, because he thought it would be cool, and then he texted me and was like "I got my piercing done! It hurts like a bitch but you'll love it!" Hahaha. It doesn't bother me, ain't nothing wrong with it, I was just kind of surprised that he actually followed through with it. Makes me sad that we won't be able to do anything for a while, but ah well. Should be interesting. I'm kind of afraid that it will hurt me when we have sex, but I guess I'll find out eventually, eh?

But besides all that, he just seems a lot more affectionate. I mean, he's always been amazing, always romantic and so genuine, I'm just seeing more recently. It seems that he's cleaning up a lot. He's getting away from Domino's, will most likely be hired as an apprentice with his father, and is looking for a place a lot closer to me. I'm so happy. And he's been looking into promise rings for us. *floats*

 

OH MY GOD.

Make sure he tightens the piercings AT ALL TIMES.

Was it a Prince Albert or a Jacob's Ladder? Perhaps an Ampallang?

Either way, my friend Timmy has a PA and a 6 step Jacob's Ladder.

One of the Jacob's Ladders fell out and they only found one ball for it. The other ball was floating around somewhere in his girlfriend's cervix/uterus.

Once she peed, she heard a *clink* and looked in the toilet bowl and found out.

So defff. make sure that he tightens those. Don't need that happening to you.

_______


I am petrified of taking the Vicodin they gave me. I used to abuse these and Percs all the time when I was dating Jeff. I don't wanna risk going back =[

 

I hope that doesn't hurt as much as I'm imagining.

 

she said no *grabs linkin park cds*

 

Yeah, seriously. I still have yet to see it, . Sounds painful, but hey, as I've said before, when I'm older I would definitely consider getting my clit pierced. Could be cool.

Rachel: I'm not sure, I haven't talked with him in depth about it. A while ago when he was planning on getting it he said he wanted to get it on the end of his dick and on top. I have no idea what names for it would be. When I find out what it looks like for sure, I'll let you know. And thanks for the advice.

 

I just saw her again for the first time in over a week... And it was so... meh.
I don't understand.

 

Sometimes Im totally fine with being alone, but other times I feel like I need someone. I dont get it.

 

Dude, I totally know what you mean. I can't explain it, though. ANother thing, is sometimes I'll be cool with everyone and happy, then the next I just can't stand anyone.

 

I get that way too. Like before, I wanted to ask this girl out, who is a friend of mine. But every time I go to ask her out, I realize that Im perfectly fine where our friendship is right now. Then later on, I feel like I made a mistake by not asking her. It seems like Im almost bi-polar.

 

It was really nice of my aunt to talk to us about it. It really helps, normally we talked together but then it's just agreeing with each other. All these years we thought our family never knew, but they did, they just couldn't find a way to contact us. It makes me happy to know that after all these years they didn't look down on us. Everytime we talk about these horrifying memories we bleed, but we have to give it a place. It's so absurd and surreal if you look at it in total. We're just so, so incredibly happy that our family never turned their backs at us after all.

We came home last night, my dad was still up and asked me how come we were so late, so I decided to just tell him and he never knew it was so deep. He didn't even remember half of the things he's done, which honestly is no surprise if you know that gleam in his eyes. I did tell him I'm happy he changed and he felt really bad after everything I told him and he doesn't know how to make it up. But it's too late, you can't forget, it's your entire youth.

This is why I get furious when someone tells me ''You have no idea how much you hurt your parents in your teen years''. No, YOU have no idea how it was. It's horrifying.

But at least now we can give it a place. I really love my aunt, she's always there for us.

 

Yeah, it's an ampallang. I hope to god they pierced ABOVE the urethra, and not through it, since sometimes they do that too

And you'd want either a Christina/Catherine or just a regular hood piercing. Christina/Catherines are surface piercings that go from right above the clitoral hood underneath the surface to exiting the actual lips. It's spiffy looking, my friend Stacey has it. (She hasn't shown me personally, but I've seen pictures done of a correct and well cleaned one). Hood piercings, regular vertical or horizontal, go through the clitoral hood. Usually clitorises can't be pierced because they're too small, but some people with enlarged clitorises (think the mini-penis from Clerks 2) can get it pierced, but you risk desensitization from getting it actually pierced. And it's got more nerve endings in it than in the entire vagina. So you really don't wanna fuck with that lol.

I personally reason that your boyfriend should have gotten a Jacob's Ladder, for the placement (underneath), and the general fact that the head of the penis is the most sensitive, so yet again, risking desensitization. It can be put on the top, but it's mostly on the bottom, and depending on your boyfriend's pain tolerance, insanity, and *aherm length aherm* you can add as many as you want. My friend Timmy has either 6 or 7 by now, and he's going for 10. At least 5 of those piercings he did himself, too.

 

I dunno what it is, it's totally unexplainable.

The last 2 weeks for me have been amazing. In the last 10 days I was drunk for maybe 5 of them. It was just awesome to let loose with friends and be drunk, but not to the point of being wasted dead. But sometimes I feel like it's fake. Like sometimes people won't talk to me or get back to me when I call them, and then I have to get on their shit about it to see what's up. When I do that, then it's good for a while, but then slowly no one will get back to me. I understand things get in the way, like work and school, but I have a life too and a busy work schedule and I still make time for the people around me. Then I look at it that way, and just be like, 'Whatever, I don't need them.'. But then I'll play Madden or Call of Duty or something, and if I do horrible I just flip the fuck out about everything. It's ridiculous how short of a fuse I have.

The other night I got so wasted I ended up chuckin up all the water out of my system and was dehydrated for two days. I was hunched over the toilet for about 2 hours, hyperventilating with my friends holding me down so I wouldn't destroy myself. I was kicking the door, punching things around me and banging my head off the toilet. I ended up saying a lot of things that were bothering me, and I couldn't control it. I totally broke down and just emptied out my mind. It was just really scary for me, because that was the first time I was out of control. I was just glad I couldn't stand or who knows what would've happened.

I get frusterated very easily. And it's not like I just get mad and walk away. I spew out words and just totally let loose. My blood pressure gets so high sometimes that I just feel the blood flowing through me so fast that I get cold and even more angry on top of that. I don't pick things up and break them though. Instead I just get the urge to get drunk or kill human life, weather it be my own or someone elses. I don't act upon though, obviously. And no, I don't need help.

I know what would be best for me, and that's to have someone to talk to that actually listens and talks back. I can't handle someone who won't listen to me, and I can't take someone who will listen but won't talk. I get a lot of the one-word replies instead of an explanation how to make my sistuations better or just get overall comfort. I don't get any of that.

Things that stress me out are (not in any order):
People at my work who don't do their job.
Can't obtain any type of close relationship with a female.
Even though I'm making more money than my last job, I still don't have enough money.
Can't find a house. We look all the time, put in bids and are always out-bidded.
The only profession that will make me happy is racing, and that's out of reach.
I second-guess myself on weather I should've went to school, but it's really not for me.
I'm not an attention-whore, but I feel like I don't get enough of it from people around me.
My parents, along with the rest of my family.
Idiot drivers.

Music keeps me sane.

Damn, I just went off into a rant there, but that's what this thread is for, even if posts don't make complete sense.

 

Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what I would get done, seeing as I have a few years til getting that done, but once it's around that time, I'll definitely do some research. And desensitization would seriously suck, seeing as clit stimulation is the only thing that gets me off, .

As for my boyfriend, he has a huge pain tolerance, is pretty damn insane at times, and has a very generous length haha, but I'm not sure if he's looking to get more, but ya never know. And shit, that's a lot of effing piercings . But again, I'm not totally sure what he got done, but that's what he was talking about getting a while ago, so I imagine that's what he got. Again, you're good with the piercing advice, haha.

 

What the hell?

 

What?

 

I realize it was a completely serious conversation but it was really amusing to me.

 

I never knew genitial piercings were so....deep.


:/

 

Hahaha.

On topic: Call me...

 

I really just want to tell her to get the fuck out of my life, but unfortunately I don't think I have the heart.