Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

You know, I'm happy now.
I never needed you, to get this happiness back.
You were just on my way actually, and I don't regret anything in our relationship at all. I learned from it, and we shared beautiful moments, honestly.
But now, it's time to move on today, and let you go finally.
No more excuses even if you're talking about me or not, not more excuses to look at you again.
Neither for good or bad.
You're gone for me.
Just a ghost.
A simply ghost.
Be happy and have a good life.
Because I'm already being happy without you, Mike.
I am, and you were just another phase in my life.

uh, just thoughts inside, thats all

 

Oh man... I can't handle the arguing around here!
I swear, the second I'm out of school, I'm out of this place.

 

It really is true.

Even if you have nice things and have (decent) money, it doesn't always make a person happy. I have a great job (again), the car of my dreams, and I'm in the process of buying my first house at 21 (well, 21 in a few weeks), and the other small things I have gotten for myself are things any normal guy could ever want at this age.

Yet, I'm still a miserable fuck.

 

I don't know how else to describe it.. But in the book "New Moon"... the way Bella held onto her sides, trying to hold herself together; the edges to the hole in her chest being ripped open more..


I feel worse then that right now.. The stabbing feeling in my chest just hurts to bad....

 

All I want for him is to understand my feelings, but he won't listen to me. And all I want for us is to be normal again but it seems impossible.

Carine broke me while I tried so hard to be nice to her, she got her way.

There were so many times where I tried to tell him how much it hurts me to see he still talks to her even though we both know she wants more with him.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I felt something was wrong, I went quietly out of bed and turned on the computer, he sent her a message saying he misses her and he's been trying to tell her now for over a year. It was like he wrote down my worst nightmare. I went back to the bedroom and I told him that I read it and you know what he said? 'Aah, I was 90% sure you'd read that!' And I was confused and I asked him if it was some sort of 'test' and he's like 'Isn't that what you wanted to read? <.<'

I don't want to read my worst nightmare, all I want for him is to understand what I'm saying and I want him to tell me not to worry because I'm the one for him and noone else. I really want to trust him, but how can I if he doesn't understand my feelings?

I'm so tired of this, it's been 2 weeks of awkwardness, he told me he'd never talk to her again, but in an angry way.

I miss him but I can't reach him.

 

I'm so sorry hun. I'm out of school next week so I should be online more. <3

 

I have off Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I should be on sometime then.

 

Well, work starts this weekend so Saturday and Sunday I won't be around...Monday is my last day of school, I might be on afterwards but you work nightshift dont you?

 

My God, I can't fucking stand my job. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that I look to be getting a job at the cinema down the road from me. An extra $3 an hour compared to my current job, and all for serving people popcorn and watching movies all day. Shit yes.

On an unrelated note, why does she have to be so damn confusing? -_-

 

It might not be for the same reasons but I share that sentiment right now.

 

I was going to say maybe we just suck with women, but that's a complete and utter lie. The real answer is that yes, the two of them are too fucking confusing for their own good.

 

Yea, I'm not alive until after 4PM at the earliest on any day.

 

ehh....
My grandma woke me up too early...

 

Yeah. We should go on a double date, hahaha.

 

I have no place to live.. Meh..

 

Her name was Taffy. She was a orange and white tabby, long-haired kitty. Only a few months old. She is one of almost 15 cats that my sister has trapped and spayed/neutered over the past year or so, and one of the few that still hung around, even though we were never able to get close to her since she didn't like people.
Today when we arrived home from work, there were turkey vultures on our street. I don't think I need to get anymore detailed then that.
I wish we had a bigger house so that we could've kept her in, along with all the rest of them. We already have so many animals inside we weren't able too buy the time we caught her and her littermates. I feel terrible that this has happened, and I was the one who tried not to get too attached to them for this kind of reason. As it turns out, that method doesn't work very well.

If you let animals stay outside, they'll get hit. No if and or buts about it. It WILL happen. None of our indoor cats go outside for this very reason. To anyone that lets their animals go out.. please think again. Keep them inside. If they like the outdoors, get them a halter and leash and take walks with them. Please.

I would do anything to take the current images out of my head, but they just keep playing, over and over. Even though I've seen all kinds of roadkill.. I will never be able to forget what she looked like. If I can be thankful for anything right now, it's that my sister didn't have to come home to see her like that. We haven't even told her yet.. she will be devastated.
I'm sorry Taffy. I so, so sorry.

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

My cat Kruimel used to be really outdoorsy, and then one night my mom came home from my aunt's place and she heard Kruimel meowing really loud, and there she lay on the concrete, half her head smashed in. They took her immediately to the vet and they operated her. She's blind on one eye now and a bit of her ear is missing. She totally changed now, she always wants to cuddle with you and when she's on your lap she first goes with her nose to your nose to say hi. I'm so glad I didn't see her like a mess though, I was far away that time.

I'm still not sure if you should keep your cat inside though, cats still need their freedom.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I had a pretty bloody experience like that with my brother's pet rabbit that got out a few years ago, but I won't go into detail. I was really shaken for quite a while after.

It actually makes me worry for one of my cats Tegan, who's pretty young (I don't know the exact age because her previous owner died), although she lives with my grandfather who's even further towards the outside of the city where it's less busy.

 

So my sister was fired from her first job today because management didn't think the job was right for her, which is the polite way of saying they didn't think she was the right person for the job.

I'm pretty sure she had her job for less than a week. It's kind of disheartening because she seemed to like working there a lot.

 

True, but I think keeping them entertained and happy inside as much as you can is better then risking the threat of everything outside [unsupervised]. Odds are me saying my opinion up there won't actually change anything that anyone does.. I just hope it'll let people think about it more often, and remind them that they are put at an even greater risk of getting hurt/killed once they go out that door. Most people won't believe it could happen to their beloved pet until something does happen, but obviously for some people not even that can make them change their ways. (Take my asshole neighbor for example.. he's went through almost 8 dogs, all but 2 have been killed from running loose outside. We have one that we took from him after she was shot and he didn't want anything to do with the vet bills, and the other someone else took in when she kept coming to her house for attention. Does he care? Hell no.) But hey, thats just my opinion, I know a lot of other people that do really care about their pets that think otherwise and let their's outside also.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your Kruimel's incident. I'm glad she recovered, even with the blindess and personality changes. It sounds like you have quite the lucky cat for her to have even made it. :]

@Dean: I'm sorry to hear about your brothers' bunny, also. I can definitely relate to being a bit shaken up. I really shouldn't have looked, honestly. And I sincerely hope that your cat stays out of harms way, luckily there are a few that seem to learn to stay away from vehicles and cars so I hope your's is one of them.

's for everyone.