Random Thoughts 14

Sick to your stomach like you ate something completely wrong, or sick to your stomach like when you find out an ex lover of yours goes lesbian on you?

You don't have to answer, I just felt like getting that out.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if my first ex-girlfriend turned out to be a lesbian. She was fucked up.

I posted why in "Got Something You Want to Let Out?" It's literally making me ill.

 

You know how I always talk about "Angie" and such? Yeeeeep.

 

I've just come back from Blood Brothers...



It was ace

 

It's been a little easier, but as I said...I don't think you can ever get over your first true love. If she was a childish bitch, then i'm sure you can...but when you have what me and her shared over a year, it's the hardest thing in the world.

I mean, it's come to the point where all I can do now is just end everything with her...friendship and everything, just to get over her. And it is one of my New Year's resolutions actually. So...I don't know, I wish the road could be over right now.

 

Then I really need to take some time and consider my priorities. To be honest, I didn't think it was going to hurt as much as it did when it all happened. Couple years pass, and I'm kind of still at square one. Everything kind of numbed up for me last year when me and JD were...you know. But then that self-destructed in my eyes.

Only thing I'm afraid about is the fact that I need to figure out what i'm going to say and how i'm going to tell her. Part of me is also afraid of how she's going to act if and when I tell her, but the back of my head tells me "It's a risk I need to take." Maybe I need to listen to the back of my head more.

See, this is why I don't like my ex's as friends.

 

Here's an awkward one for you all: what do you do when you're going to your favorite band's concert and you're going to be sitting next to the girl you're practicly in love with and your former best friend who after you told you liked the girl went ahead and got with her?

If that made any sense at all.

 

That really sounds like what my mind has been telling me to do. It's just kind of hard to go out with friends...when, I don't really have any in the first place. I pretty much went and did another clean slate once I graduated high school. I really wasn't anybody's "friend". I just talked to people if and when I could because they would talk to me. So...yeah. I'm a weird person, believe me.

It's just that I think that the open world is just another thing out to get me and just screw me over, that's what I believe...but then again, I also believe that I haven't done anything and its just me being good ol' paranoid me. It's like I don't know where to start when trying to move on you know. What do I do first and such? Are people out there going to accept me if I be myself and not talk about Angie and such.

But no matter what, I do thank you for your advice. And i'm really going to think about taking it. Like you told me, you are also a amazing person and i'm glad everything worked out for you in the long run. I just wish I had the self-esteem to have it work out for me.

 

35-14

 

Motherfuck.

 

!!


"If she finds out who you are she'll turn you in before you can say 'Don't, erm, turn me... in... lady...'"

 

Haha, Light is so heartless.

 

I've been thinking flowers, maybe daisies, to brighten up the room
Don't you think that flowers, maybe daisies, to lighten up the gloom?

 

w00t!

 

deja fkcing vu im drinin again! whoohohooooo Heunbe=nek ftw!

dnt scresnoht this, pleaz. lols.