Okay, I'm not real good at this stuff but i'm getting better at it. Tell me what you think. It's got a pretty basic message. It might not seem this way but if you get the tune right it does flow pretty well, and not as awkward as it might seem. ----------------------------------------------------- If I Try So many things I could’ve done So many things I could’ve tried So many things I could’ve won So many things I could’ve failed I tell myself everyday Opportunities never seem to come my way But deep down inside I know If that’s reality I must be a fake But I never take a chance And I never get anything in return I hope one day I’ll get through my resistance There must be a lot I still have to learn I never weigh up my options I only look at the down sides I guess I must be a pessimist I always thought I was optimistic If I Try, Then I might Fail, And if I Don’t, Then I Won’t, Lose any Thing, But my regrets Will still Linger on Again and again I meet the barrier That keeps the words in my mouth I hope one day it struggles to thrive It’s something I’d rather live without Every single day I live The pain gets worse and worse Every moment I subsist Is a moment with this curse Everyday I complain and criticize Myself for the things I didn’t do Every chance that I let pass Is another critic in the que I never weigh up my options I only look at the down sides I guess I must be a pessimist I always thought I was optimistic If I Try, Then I might Fail, And if I Don’t, Then I Won’t, Lose any Thing, But my regrets Will still Linger on If I Try, Then I might Fail, And if I Don’t, Then I Won’t, Lose any Thing If I Try, Then I might Fail, And if I Don’t, Then I Won’t, Lose any Thing, But my regrets Will still Linger on
Great stuff I love the whole thing, the only thing I;d redo are these two lines: I guess I must be a pessimist I always thought I was optimistic I can kind of imagine a tune in my head to it, good work!
Dude..... Good work! I've been trying to write some stuff to..... but im just not getting any ideas. Can u give me any or pointers/tips for writing songs? Anyways keep up the good work!
Thanks guys! @Radish: I do think those lines are a bit... ehhh, but i'll probably leave it as it is for now. @Incze: I wouldn't be a real good person to ask for help, but i can tell you that it helps if you're writing from experiance, I was feeling really 'Oh shit i should have done this, i should have done that' whilst writing the piece.
man this is really really really good. I mean it means alot to me. I am a guy that puts stuff off, and a lot of times I put things off it's to late to do what I should have and then I always complain about it. I always look at the down side of life. And this song/poem decribes exactly how it is. Thank you for this peice. You have talent.