War Wounds

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Dedicated, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. #1
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    This is about World War II and how the men fighting in the war would be going through the same things as their fathers would have in World War I.

    "War Wounds"

    I remember how it all started,
    You asked me where I've been,
    "I've been walking along the shorelines since 1941,
    Sending letters home to my loved ones,
    I saw the bullets flying towards my face,
    Felt the warmth of blood in my hands,
    Elisa I've been thinking of you,
    Since this dreadful war began."

    Take my hand, this war will be over soon,
    We can watch our pretty destruction under the moon.

    I never thought those things I saw,
    Would make me who I am today,
    Or that they could possibly make,
    This time we spend together so pretty,
    The gun in my hand which weakly fell,
    As I watched my good friends die,
    I've been waiting for a moment like this,
    To make everything seem right.

    Take my hand, this war will be over soon,
    We can watch our pretty destruction under the moon,
    Take my hand, we can make amends,
    I've found perfection at the worlds end.

    I'm reading messages from over 20 years ago,
    That my father sent to his girlfriend, my mother,
    He talked of all the horrid things that he had done and seen,
    And finished briefly telling her he loved her,
    Who would have thought that now I'd be doing the same thing?
    To you my love, and we will make it through,
    So I can once more hold your hand and kiss your cheek so softly,
    As we watch the powers fall and love break through,
    My father faught with all his might for victory and so will I,
    I hope my victory will gain me you,
    But soon the pretty girls who have husbands and lovers,
    Will have their hearts broken by the sonority,
    Of tapping at their door and a young man lowering his head,
    And telling her how much her husband loved her,
    And how he talked of her and their son so much and he was proud of them,
    So proud of them he was willing to take a bullet.

    Take my hand, this war will be over soon,
    We can watch our pretty destruction under the moon,
    Take my hand, we can make amends,
    I've found perfection at the worlds end.
     
  2. #2
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Awesome Dave, I like the parts you changed from the first draft you showed me, very well done. :)
     
  3. #3
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    it's clean artful well crafted poetry. the theme is genuine, the feel is real. the helplessness is covered by a brave mans hope. it's...emotional, yet practical. it's fantastic.
     
  4. #4
    Jordan

    Jordan Secret Robot

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    ...The reason why we should always be eagerly awaiting a new "dedicated" piece.
     
  5. #5
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Cheers everyone :)

    I'm glad you like it and think it's sincere :)
     

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