A Terrible Car Accident?

My professor stumbled across a website where you're supposed to submit a story that is only 55 words long; no more, no less. This is the 55-word story I wrote.

"A Terrible Car Accident?"

I hesitated. The car lurched. I could see the child's face, decorated with the most grim of expressions. My heart pounded; sweat gathered at my brow. I swallowed hard. As the cars collided, I heard laughter... joy. I cringed as my car bounced off the other. Then the operator stopped the ride. Bumper cars.

 

haha wow that's pretty good.

 

Now THAT was good.

 

You had me going. I was feeling it.

 

Holy shit...I was like: WTF!?

at the 'laughter' part

awesome!

 

awww, you had me going

 

Thanks for the comments! The best part about it is I got 100 points for it in class.

 

this is scary and funny. whoa. First it sounds like "HELP ME!!" and then it sounds like "I LOVE BUMBER CARS"!!! kool

 

That was awesome!

 

So I read this a while back but did not have the opportunity to comment. I found it absolutely amazing, and you should have got 43587843759384759387539759387530000000000 for it, completely disregard the fact that 100 is the maximum.

 

nice twist at the end.

 

Loved the ending! nice work man. For some reason it reminds me when Tony Danzas go kart flipped over hahaha! http://youtube.com/watch?v=d1cL29qaQn8

 

ahahha

 

Thanks for all the comments. I might try to write more short stories like this. It's actually really hard though.

 

You totally had me going...very nice, you have a great writing style. lol

 

Awesome job, you should totally write more short stories because if they're anything like this one I bet they'll be amazing.

I was so thrown off.

 

Thanks for the comments once again.

 

you caught me man! that was...that was just too good!