Counsel letters gone wrong...

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Nikki, Jul 19, 2003.

  1. #1
    Nikki

    Nikki I have no idea what is going on LPA Super Member

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    Oh god...I've Just found this.

    These are genuine letters of complaint that were really sent to their boards, and I have nearly wet myself laughing...read on and find out why:

    * My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

    * He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

    * It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

    * I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

    * I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

    * And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

    * I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

    * My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

    * I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

    * Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

    * I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

    * I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

    * The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

    * Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

    * Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

    * I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

    * The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

    * Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

    * I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

    * Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

    * I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

    * This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.


    I think you can tell that a bunch of English people wrote these... XD
     
  2. #2
    Aaron

    Aaron Foundation LPA Super Member

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    LMFAO!
     
  3. #3
    Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    :lol: :lol:
    that's f*cking funny!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  4. #4
    Mcnasty

    Mcnasty Y2K

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    :lol: HAHAHAH HA HE HSAHA
     
  5. #5
    User Name

    User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

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    :lol:

    Sad, but funny.
     
  6. #6
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    HOLY SH*T! LMFAO. :lol:

    Kat! Post more if you can!
     
  7. #7
    Nikki

    Nikki I have no idea what is going on LPA Super Member

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    That's all of them *sniffle* ;_;

    But if I ever break into Tameside's office and find any more, I'll let you know ;)

    This has to be the best though...
     
  8. #8
    Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    hell yeah !! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  9. #9
    Alacrity

    Alacrity don't stop talking to me; i haven't been listening LPA Super Member

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    omg those were hilarious...some of them towards the end were boring..but post more if you can! LMFAO!
     
  10. #10
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    LMAO!
     
  11. #11
    Chrissy

    Chrissy Super Member

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    LMAO i think my friend would actually write one of those complaints..... :wth:
     
  12. #12
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Now I can tell my parents I saw 2 (count 'em, 2!) funny things today!
     
  13. #13
    Amy

    Amy LPA VIP LPA Über VIP

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    :lol: :lol: That was awesome!
     
  14. #14
    MentalMel911

    MentalMel911 Banned

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    Which one is the other one?
     
  15. #15
    Phantom Duck

    Phantom Duck You are my detonator. LPA Super Member

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    Which one is the other one? [/b][/quote]
    My #### :p j/k

    Nice complaints out there, Kat
     

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