How to Deal with the IT Support Dept

Tomi · Oct 14, 2006

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 screensaver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When IT Support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 50 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.

16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy blew up".

17. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

18. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

19. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

20. When you find an IT person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

21. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer rubbish." We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as rubbish.

22. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT Support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

23. When you can't find someone in the telephone directory, call IT Support.

24. When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call IT Support. We love to hack.

25. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

26. When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on the mail server.

27. When you bump into an IT person in the market on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends too.

28. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

29. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.....

Thanks, IT Support
Click to expand...

Came across that on another forum I post on. I've printed it out and taped it on my door. Now if someone's being an idiot, I'll refer them to my door.

devilsnight2003 · Oct 14, 2006

i used to be an IT Technician, if you say you work with computers they expect you to know everything. Yeah, cause im an IT student my new work wanted me to fix the till. taking libirties...

Tomi · Oct 14, 2006

devilsnight2003 said: ↑

i used to be an IT Technician, if you say you work with computers they expect you to know everything. Yeah, cause im an IT student my new work wanted me to fix the till. taking libirties...
Click to expand...

http://beyond-summit.blogspot.com/2006/09/no-i-cant-fix-your-computer.html

devilsnight2003 · Oct 14, 2006

within the first section it fits me exactly, that is funny....

Todd · Oct 14, 2006

I work at a helpdesk and can relate to a lot of those. Sadly, number 23 actually happens to me. When they call for another number on campus, that's one thing, but someone called me for the phone number to the fucking department of motor vehicles.

And thanks for posting that, I just printed that out and put it in my cubicle

devilsnight2003 · Oct 14, 2006

Todd said: ↑

I work at a helpdesk and can relate to a lot of those. Sadly, number 23 actually happens to me. When they call for another number on campus, that's one thing, but someone called me for the phone number to the fucking department of motor vehicles.

And thanks for posting that, I just printed that out and put it in my cubicle
Click to expand...

thats poor, ive had somebody ask me to take a look at a pressure washer at a garage cause i new about computers, wtf has a pressure washer got to do with a computer....

Canadian Joe · Oct 14, 2006

Heh, I worked doing tech support for a year (for Comcrap)...and that list is absolutely true

Thanks for posting

...Lauren? · Oct 23, 2006

devilsnight2003 said: ↑

wtf has a pressure washer got to do with a computer....
Click to expand...

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How to Deal with the IT Support Dept

Tomi   LPA Addict

devilsnight2003 Dogs Don't kill People, Wabbits Do

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Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

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How to Deal with the IT Support Dept

Tomi &nbsp; LPA Addict

devilsnight2003 Dogs Don't kill People, Wabbits Do

Tomi &nbsp; LPA Addict

devilsnight2003 Dogs Don't kill People, Wabbits Do

Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

devilsnight2003 Dogs Don't kill People, Wabbits Do

Canadian Joe Bacon strips LPA Super VIP

...Lauren? Sadist Sagittarius

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