<div align=center>Part 1</div> It's still dark out, the members of Linkin Park are sleeping quietly in their bunks, the sounds of quiet snores floating in the air. A sleeping Joe rolls around in his bunk, letting out an very audible deafening fart. Jolted out of his sleep Chester narrows his eyes, and picks up a pillow chucking it at Joe's head, knocking off his sunglasses. Chester: "You butt pirate! That's the 4th time this week you've farted and woke me up!" Joe unphased by the hit and still asleep screams out, "Mommy the paperboy hit me with his paper again!" Chester lets out a sigh underneath his breath and rolls back to sleep, soon being thrown out of his bunk by a large bump in the road. Chester: "F*CK!" The bus comes to a halt, the awoken band members dazed and confused, Chester cursing a storm from the beautiful new bump he is sporting on his freshly waxed bald head. Mike: Uhh guys? What just happened? Brad: It's called the bus getting stuck in a ditch and not moving, Mike. Mike: Brad shut up before I chuck my shoe at you. Brad: Oh I'm so terrified of Mike and his shoe! Chester who was still sore emotionally from the bruise shouts up at brad. Chester: "No he's right, you really should shut up Brad" Brad: "...Leave me alone. " Walking outside of the bus, Mike, Brad and Chester are hit with an overwhelming smell of...well...poo. Mike: "Eww that ditch must be the runoff from the Sewage Plant around here, it smells like crap." Chester: "It is crap, Mike." Chester beams. Mike: "Your going the right way for a beating." Chester: "Oh Mike! Not so rough.." Chester says fluttering his eyelashes at mike. Mike: "Whatever..." Chester: "You're just sore because you're remembering the time we knocked over that porta potty and left you in a pond of poop and pee." Mike annoyed by Chester's taunt slaps him upside the head causing him to fall towards the stream of turd water, Mike in a panic tries to grab Chester but misses and watches helplessly as Chester screams, landing face first in one big pile of crap. Joe, holding his broken sunglasses walks out of the bus. Joe: "Who touched my damn sunglasses aga-HOLY SON OF ALL THINGS THAT SMELL LIKE SH*T BATMAN!. Chester's a human turd!" The band members, watching from above break out in a fit of laughter as Chester screams in agony, spitting constantly. Chester: Mike you ass jockey! Mike: "I think your closer to an ass jockey then I ever could be, you got a mouth full of butt water." Chester storms into the bus, flipping off Mike the whole distance, running into the bathroom and positioning his mouth under the faucet whining in digust. Rob and Phoenix, surprizingly not jolted from thier sleep snore loudly, giving Mike an idea. Grabbing a dirty sock and a plastic bag, mike pinches his nose and fills up the sock with the butt water putting it in the plastic bag, waving it by Phoenix and Rob's noses. As if on cue both wake up screaming; "OH MY F*CKING GOD.", grabbing thier pillows and hiding from the god awful stench. Mike: C'mon Rob, enjoy the fresh scent of human ass. Rob: LICK MY ASS YOU ASS GOBLIN! Mike: If its anything like this sock then no thank you. Phoenix: Mike you digusting little b*tch, I'm gonna get you for this. Both band members charge by Mike and run out of the tour bus gagging, causing Mike to lose it in a fit of laughter. Digusted by the stench he chucks the dirty sock, into the windshield of an oncoming car accidentally which makes the girl inside the car scream, and swerve off the road. Unaware of what just happened and climbing out of the car she screams at the poop plastered all over her paintjob. Girl:"OMG..That is like so not cool..wait..OH MY GOD" Mike:"Oh no.." Girl: "LINKIN PARK!!! OMGGG OMGGG, MIKKKKE!!" Mike: "No please god." Girl: "MIKE I LOVE YOU," she screams running up to him, "YOUR SOO HAWT OH MY GAWD." While getting groped up by the obnoxious teenie, Mike tries to push her off and eventually manages to bribe her with one of his clean pairs of boxers. Girl: "OH MIKE, IM GONNA WEAR THESE AND LIKE, SLEEP IN THEM AND OMG.." Mike: "Thats awesome," he says sarcastically, "thanks for the hello." The girl, no longer upset about the sewage splattered over her windshield speeds off going "WHAT THE F*CK OMG." as Mike and the boys are left stuck in a ditch... <div align=center>Part 2</div> Mike's cellphone buzzes. Upon checking who was calling its his old friend Haywood JaBlome. "Hey Hay what's crackin?" "Not much Shinizzle, 'sup in tha hizzle?" "Yanno, same old sh*t. I finally got on the road again after our tour bus was stuck for 3 hours." "Looks like someone's late for a party." "Hahaha, word." "Hey look, I gotta go. They're going at it again." "Aight. Catch ya later, dawg." Mike heads to the back of the bus where a heated arguement is beginning over a game of Halo. Chester: You cheated you stool pusher! You used a cheat code to beat my ass! Brad: Or maybe you just suck? Chester: Shutup you ass-blasting c*ck jockey! Mike: HEY! Watch it there Chester. We have to keep it PG for the kiddies at home *Mike waves towards the screen and grins* Chester: Mike how many times much I tell you, WE'RE NOT IN A DAMNED TV SHOW, WERE NOT THE OSBOURNES...although that would explain why there are bleeps when I say, d*ck or p*ss or sh*t, but okay! Mike: You finished? Chester: (*looking poutily down at the floor in a teary voice*)..yes. Phoenix: Chester's just sore I whooped his ass. Chester takes his soda and pours it over Phoenix's head, which provokes Phoenix to slap Chester with a piece of pizza. While Chester and Phoenix are busy going at it with Brad trying to break it up, Mike starts a new game and kills Chester, Brad and Phoenix's unresponsive characters. Mike: HAHA! I WON! All 3 members stop fighting and look towards mike narrowing thier eyes, tackling mike to the ground beating him with a controller. Where's Rob and Joe during all of this you ask? Joe is busy playing dress up with his froggy dolls while Rob in the bathroom coaxing out a sh*t. No number two's in the bus you say? Tell that to rob who's constipated from eating way too many slices of pizza. After giving up Rob walks out of the bathroom and notices Mike unconcious on the floor. Rob: Whoa what happened here? Chester: We beat Mike with a controller after he cheated. Rob: Oh cool. Chester: What's wrong Robby Boy? You seem down. Rob: I can't crap dude, all this pizza is getting me clogged. Chester hands Rob a box of chocolate bars. Rob: What's these for? Chester: Some leftover Hershey bars, I couldn't eat em all. Rob: Oh well, I might as well eat these too, it'll all be coming out of me later. Unaware to what he's getting himself into, Rob devoures 2 bars of Maximum Strength EX-LAX Chocolates, while Chester laughs in his head. Mike groggily gets off the ground, confused as to what just happened. Mike: My head...it hurts. Brad: Because we beat you into unconciousness for being a cheater. Mike: Last time I play with you sore losers, for real. Mike heading to the studio, sits down and records a song about the lump on his head. Just then a scream is heard from Rob's bunk. Rob: STOP THE BUS! STOP THE BUS!! The bus comes to a screeching halt and Rob runs out of the bus, a brown stain on the back of his pants. Joe stops playing with his frog dolls and walks back to the gaming room. Joe: You didn't... Chester: I sure did, sucker devoured two bars of maximum strength ex-lax. Joe: That's real terrible of you Chester. Chester: Hey I dont call myself The Chemist for nothing :chemist: Meanwhile poor Rob, is squatting in the woods, as audible farts can be heard in rapid succession. Looks like Rob shouldn't trust Chester so easily next time. Eventually, smelling terribly, Rob crawls back into the bus. Chester: Way to go Rob! You handled that like a champ, I could hear your butt trumpets all the way over here! Rob: That was real nice of you Chester. Chester: I helped you get unclogged didn't I? Rob: I guess so, after all that. Chester: Dr. Chazzy Chaz at your service. Rob: More like Dr. Chemist... Chester: Muahahahaha. Mike: Anyone hungry for some pizza? Rob: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Rob runs into the bathroom and locks himself in there, whimpering in fear. Mike: I think you gave Rob, Coprophobia, Chester. Joe: What the fizzle is that? Mike: Fear of crap. Joe: Eww. As they came into town they were greeted by something they didn't expect. "LIVE GIRLS XXX!" Brad: WOO! RED LIGHT DISTRICT! Mike: No Brad, just...no. The bus continued to drive away as Brad pressed his face against the window, clawing at the window to get out... Brad:No...boobies....
Derek, you just love stealing ideas don't you? I actually enjoyed reading this...haha. I only read it because I know you have talent. Good job on making me crack up. I'd like to see more in the future. I was really picturing this too, haha. COOL.
Stealing ideas? If your talking about The Linkins I think mine is pretty different. The Linkins although funny at parts, tends to sound like it was written from a teenie. It ruins it for me *shrugs*. I don't write immature, I use immature jokes but not immature writing styles.
I didn't say that yours sounded like theirs at all, I merely said you borrowed their concept. I'm not comparing you two at all. I better not be the only one responding to this!!! Read this sh!t and give the man some credit for your laughter, you lazy kids! BUMP BUMP BUMP.
Usually i'm pretty strict to myself on what is "good writing" and I love to be a critic, but Derek, I think this has potential. If you don't have any idea's for the next part, you should turn it into a hilarious (which it already is) dark slasher (maybe you had this in mind already) where LP ends up back in the hotel they took press/album pictures for Meteora, and have everything come back alive and things haunt them. I think that would be great. Either way, you have a nice little story here, and I enjoyed and can't wait to see your next part! Great job Derek! - Critic Elie
OMG LOL that was soo funny you must write another one and finsh the story LOL i was cracking up soo much lol
Err Elie..I've always been told Slash is the band members having buttsex and sexual relationships. I dont think I want that in my story.. Nor do I want a murder mystery . I already got one on here.
Err Elie..I've always been told Slash is the band members having buttsex and sexual relationships. I dont think I want that in my story.. Nor do I want a murder mystery . I already got one on here. [/b][/quote] Derek, can you PLEASE keep on going??
*ahem* Why'd you have to go and get me so constipated? *ahem* [/b][/quote] *cough* Your own ideas are generally better. *cough*