India- A vision...

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Janie Jones, May 4, 2006.

  1. #1
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    I don't generally write poems as much as I do stories... but I got inspired by reading a book written by our President, Ignited Minds...this writing style is new so I really don't know if this is any good or not...

    India- A Vision

    From the tainted throes of an empire of yore,
    From vast seas to the hills ashore,
    From green grass under blue skies,
    South of the Asian continent, where great mountains rise,

    Arising from ashes, from a vindictive jail,
    Soul captured; yet spirits which hath prevailed,
    In all it’s majesty from North to South
    Freed from her bounds; Chains now without

    Eyes flashing with fury, eternal resilience cascades,
    From heart of peasant, of farmer, of all those caged,
    Yet still wounded, blemish not without,
    Imperial rule vanish’d, yet a cry from her mouth

    No longer with shackled arms, the fuel now within,
    In knowledge of her potential, salvation lies therein,
    Shaky though the steps, that lead towards the fire,
    Progress must be prevalent, or else consequences w'll be dire

    She hath power, within rough texture, she stores
    Treasure and wherewithal, rich in imagination, and richer in lore,
    Yet sad are her countrymen, youth hath no faith,
    Away they go, until it’s too late

    Diamond she is, sparkle somewhat dimm’d
    Dust of the centuries, of problems interim,
    Clear’d once, through faith, and she shalt dazzle
    Through dream of a countryman, in the sky a castle,

    To a thousand steps, slow but sure,
    An attempt by all, and glory, once more.



    Meghna Sridhar
    April 2006
    * * *
     
  2. #2
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Oh my goodness, I love this! Your vocabulary is great. I love how you fit unusual words in. You make it look so easy. This is beautiful.
     
  3. #3
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    You know, if you read this without looking at its title, you wouldn't immediately guess what it was about.

    I agree with Darcy, it's beautiful. Vocabulary <3

    I told you I'd check out your poem.
     
  4. #4
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Mali is a woman of her word! :lol:
     
  5. #5
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Better late than never!
     
  6. #6
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    Wow!...Thanks a LOT...I never knew about this...anyway, this is very rare. I have rare fits of brilliance. [/Overconfidence][/Self-Obsession][/Overuse of the whole "emotion-inside-square brackets thing]

    Thanks for checking it out...as soon as my dumb French and English tests are over I'm going to comb Writer's cove...:D
    Meg
     
  7. #7
    minusxerø

    minusxerø Overflow Supremacy LPA Addicted VIP

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    Holy crap that is brilliant.
     
  8. #8
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    Thanks a lot...I'm working on another one, which is a lot more depressing ... mainly because I'm in a really crappy mood...
     
  9. #9
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    I have to say Meghna, I owe it to myself to pay attention to your posts and poems more often. This poem not only showcases brilliance, but utter intelligence as well.

    I'm glad to see you're not like every other person with 55 posts on a forum. (Aka: LOLZ OMIGAWD WTF, STFU!). I tip my hat to you! Excellent work.
     
  10. #10
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    Wow, D...thanks a lot...I'm really ... speachless. I'm trying to write more stuff right now...it's relly great how much encouragement I've got from other LPA-ers...well, thanks!
     
  11. #11
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    Well, here it is. My second poem. Now comes the real judgement- was the first one a fluke, or is this one just as good? I'm hoping for the latter, but...
    LOST…

    Luminous in light of growing trepidation,
    Shadowed visage of rising dread…
    Taut skin, aglow in skeletal insipid death,
    Yet pallid sockets lined with red…

    Towering in ethereal mists that encastle,
    Her frame, as in the breeze, her robes billow,
    Not crease nor stain in the flowing white
    Draped, eyelids hung low…

    In black the night was sheathed,
    His hand was outstretched in the darkness,
    Yet only a wisp came in hand,
    Of ink black; the grip tightened on the lone tress

    A faint gasp escaped his lips,
    The gaze fixed, in trance as she faded to black
    Her last sigh the only sound piercing the silent stillness
    A faint wave before departure, then body went slack

    The trance never wavered,
    A shadow of a tear,
    The corpse’s inert hand escaped his grasp,
    And it slipped, along with his fear…

    His hand still caressing gently hers,
    The other groped in his pocket
    Two precious objects were pulled in firm resolve,
    A sliver dagger, and a locket…

    Moonlight illuminated the smooth silver blade,
    And in its light the locket gleam’d
    The trembling hands made the chain embrace and the clasp click
    On her slender neck, the small pendant beamed

    He leaned closer, in short gasps his breath releas’d
    The blade drew nearer, as he, into an endless abyss,
    Clutch never slacken’d in momentary hesitation,
    And at last the bond sparked alive once more, united in one last kiss…


    Meghna Sridhar,
    May 2006
    * * *

    Now I'm nervous. This one isn't as good, right?Or is it like I'm paranoid...? I'll anyway be working on it...*bites fingernails*
    Yours nervously,
    Meg
     
  12. #12
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    They are both awesome :)


    I agree with Derek :)
     
  13. #13
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Another beauty! I like the second poem too.
     
  14. #14
    GrafiTTied

    GrafiTTied Well-Known Member

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    wow you can really write poetry! you have an awesome use of vocabulary. You should make sure Transarhaz reads this. I think he'd want to.
     
  15. #15
    HUNG2DEATH

    HUNG2DEATH Member

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    wow...man you are great!.Do you write songs too,my advice is go low on the majesticness in your'e songs than your'e poems.Though your'e poems relly do rock!
     
  16. #16
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Your amazing writing capability inspires me to start spouting profanities.

    :lol: Excellent piece, Meghna, but next time you can create a new thread for each poem.
     
  17. #17
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    You betcha...
    shit Meghna, you are lovely...i mean your poetry of course.
    It's fantastic. I'm speechless. And who the heck am i to be speechless?
    Great great great Job!
     
  18. #18
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    [Speechless]


    ...I loved Kiss . Huge fan. I was re-reading the competition entries, and almost all made me feel distant. It inspired me to write more...
    I'm not saying anything else. I'm speechless.
    Seriously...I'm am SO gonna comb WC as SOON as my dumb French test is kaput! Finis!

    Merci, TransArhaz...Je vous aime...(Yes, that is probably incorrect French. Don't judge me!)

    [/Rambling]
     
  19. #19
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    ..I'm the rambling one.
     
  20. #20
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    ...Thief! :D
     

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