My World in Ashes

My World in Ashes

Lick my wounds to taste my pain,
Running sideways in the rain,
Drowned and torn apart,

Drenched in my pain,
Crying out in vain,
Underneath it all,
I am still so small,
Take the world away,
Leave my heart to fade,

Sever all the ties,
Poisoned lips telling lies,
Everything beautiful breaks away,
All I ask for turns to grey,
My mouth is sewn shut by the screams I make,
Even my cold white pillows seem so fake,

Cry out,
The dryness in my throat,
The fear of waking up,

Bleed through,
The blurring lines of time,
The rose upon my grave,

Tears don’t fall, they come crashing down,
With my entire world in ashes.

...thoughts please

 

"Tears don’t fall, they come crashing down" that line screams Bullet For My Valentine.

And the second line in the first verse seems a little too forced, but overall I liked it.

 

thanks.


and yeah, they did influence that line, but if it's a really good lyric, then I think it's paying it tribute by taking inspiration inyor work with it.