This is something i wrote in my spare time. Hopefully it helped me work on my skills with dialogue. Tell me what you think, especially in terms of my dialogue structure. “How’d you like the movie?” I asked Julie as she fumbled with the keys at the door. It was cold out, our breath crystallized in front of our eyes as we stood outside her house. I barely noticed though. I never really notice much when I’m around Julie- except for her. She is very pretty, in a cold and lonely sort of way. Like a forest on a postcard after a light snowfall. So still, so lifeless. So distant. So beautiful. “-are you coming?” Julie asked, pulling me back to reality. It sounded like she had asked me a few times, judging by the impatience present in her tone. “You’re letting the cold in.” Smothering my desire to comment on the fact that the heat would really be being let out, not the cold in, I looked up and mumbled an apology. I didn’t mean to say it so quietly, but my voice did much to betray my inner feelings of meekness and self-doubt. Once inside the house I shut the door behind me and followed Julie upstairs to her apartment. “About the movie…” I began, and trailed off after being confident she knew what I was going to say. “I already told you!” she says, a perplexed expression moving onto her face. “Weren’t you listening?” Mentally noting how much of an idiot I was managing to be I said sorry again. “Stop apologizing!” Julie said for about the hundredth time since I’ve met her. I choked down another apology and, having swallowed my only words, simply sighed and looked down to me feet in frustrated sorrow. “Well, I said the movie was so-so” she said, either unknowing or uncaring about my discomfort. “The ending sucked.” “I thought it was good” I replied, making note of our disagreement. We always disagree. The truth was I barely even watched the movie, instead spending my time wishing that she would hold my hand during the show. I was tempted to brush across hers countless times but could never follow through. I’m a coward. After reaching the top of the stairs I followed her to her room and sat down beside her on the bed. Her walls were littered with posters of her favourite bands and the like. She hates empty spaces. Maybe it has something to do with her life. Besides, friends that you can hang on a wall or put in a stereo are easier to deal with than ones you meet in the real world. Easier to deal with than me. “Bbbuurrrrr…” Julie said as she shivered beside me, rubbing her hands together in a futile attempt to warm them. “I’m freezing.” Always so cold…I thought to myself, while noticing that I felt boiling myself- probably because I was so nervous. Testing my luck I gently took one of her hands and placed it between mine. I could feel the warmth being sucked out of me, my heartbeat echoed like thunder in my ears. I looked into her eyes and saw they were filled with my reflection. She leaned forward and gently placed her lips on mine. We stayed that way for a moment, as if even time had thought it better to leave us alone. During this time beyond time I felt as if I was being consumed by the void of emptiness inside of her. My warmth, my reflection, every ounce of my being strived to fill it. It was as if I had become one with her. Then it was over. Out lips parted and the clock began to tick again. But I was still there, inside her-a part of her. “I love you,” I said, a hint of red staining my cheeks. She simply smiled. A new, warm smile. She paused a moment and then let go of me. Her hand was warm.
Okay lol. Do you mind if I still call you Mali? That's what I know you by more. Plus, it's easier to remember lol. torn rose was cool as well, but I didn't really know of you much then.
Sure, it's what everyone calls me regardless of my username. And the ë at the end of Maranwë is a bitch to use
Okay. I was really thanking Frontman C and Mali in that thanks, as I already thanked you above. That is why I corrected myself with Mali. Thanks for telling me though.
oh yeah you did! must have missed it, oh well it didnt hurt to know that i was a girl did it............
No it didn't. If you want people to know you should add it to your profile. Like, I have no problem with you telling me. I just mean, for future reference.