Knock, Knock

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by esaul17, Feb 11, 2006.

  1. #1
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Knock, Knock


    “Knock, knock
    Who’s there?”

    So many barricades and defensive mechanisms
    Kept at bay with self-bound criticisms
    You say you’re content without having a true friend
    Yet you speak of suicide, that you fear not the end
    Depression is not something written in your genes
    You’re family may be unhappy, but by no means
    Were you born determined to feel the same
    You’ve been hurt before, but forget the pain
    Do you know how much you hurt me
    When you said I don’t know you and that will forever be?
    That my opinion is worthless, I’m nothing in your eyes
    And I can never change how you feel inside
    Have you ever heard the saying “no risk, no gain”?
    Insist on having no one and you’ll drive yourself insane
    You tell yourself your worthless, that is why you’re alone
    And now you can’t believe anything else you’re shown
    You’ve had a poor childhood, but place that in the past
    You can live and learn, but learn to last
    I’ve thrown my life away for you in my dreams
    Yet you long for death, two opposite extremes
    You say you want to be happy, but you cannot win
    Because to let someone in your heart you have to let them under your skin

    “Knock, knock
    Who’s there?
    It’s me
    Please open the door…”
     
  2. #2
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    roffles @ nock nock titles. XD I'm sorry. The grammer was a little off, but the words were massive.
     
  3. #3
    Amanda

    Amanda RIP Chester LPA Super VIP

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    *grammar

    Sorry, but if you want to be critical about someone else's, I think you should learn to spell the word first.

    P.S. - Knock has a 'K' in it.
     
  4. #4
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    What would you say are some grammatical errors I made?
     
  5. #5
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Actually, I think it was really good I didn't catch any grammatical errors. I don't know what heshboy's talking about and I don't think he does either. ;P

    It was really good I esspecially like the line "So many barricades and defensive mechanisms kept at bay with self-bound criticisms". Good job, 8/10.
     
  6. #6
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    I Our The Hesh do know what I'm talking about. I was laughing so hard, I made unbiased mistakes. It's ok though, because I'm unbiased and so can you. So don't makes me cries ;_;

    XD I made more mistakes, and I'm not going to correct them. I'll correct them when the new LP album drops.
     
  7. #7
    GrafiTTied

    GrafiTTied Well-Known Member

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    that was very good I would give it an 8/10 too.
    ive always wanted to write something like that except that i havent got down to doing it.
     
  8. #8
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Thanks a lot guys.


    4nd 175 0k4y |-|35h80y.




    Sorry, I had to.
     
  9. #9
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Heh. Beautiful. As for the mistakes mentioned;

    Have you ever heard of the saying “no risk, no gain”?

    You tell yourself you're worthless, that is why you’re alone

    Minor mistakes, nothing worth fussing about.
     
  10. #10
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Awesome. Thanks Mali or Maranwë or torn rose.
     
  11. #11
    Amanda

    Amanda RIP Chester LPA Super VIP

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    What in the sam hill are you going on about?
     
  12. #12
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely nothing tbqh. :) lol

    Well Esaul you always write nice stuff.
    BTW I'm 1337.
     
  13. #13
    Amanda

    Amanda RIP Chester LPA Super VIP

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    ...no.
     
  14. #14
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Yes
     
  15. #15
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Nothing against you man, but I have to agree with in.the.shadows on this one.
     

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