Is there still hope for people? Is there goodness in the world? The answer.... ofcourse there is.. humanity is capable of so much yet we strive for so little and only dream for so much. For the fear of being let down is something no one risks.. Trust is rare and in this world.. but indeed, concealing your trust is a means of survival. So the chance of someone acting upon goodwill is lowered because of that fact. Today.. my mum dragged me out of bed to go shopping with her... She said she needed help carrying stuff but i knew she only took me because she didnt want to leave me home alone.. She was scared id try something again, i understood so i got up without her having to ask again. Two days after christmas, so most department stores were going all out with stocktake sales, discounts and the works.. My mum always buys alot of junk after Christmas so i expected a long day. I was depressed.. i have been since the 21st, ive smiled a few times but i have never been truely happy. I dragged my feet along the aisles of clothes past lots of nagging mothers, spoilt kids, loud teens, slow old people and a guy on an electric wheelchair. Till i got to a corner with no one. I realised i was alone, i must have left my mum somewhere between the cheap xmas decorations and the rack of huge stuffed toys. I saw a little girl, pressed against a rack of shirts, scared and obviously lost.. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were watery.. She looked so cute, like something out of a disney cartoon. Probably the same time i looked away was when i heard the store announcer lady say something to the staff... She said that there was a 4 year old girl named Maria who was missing somewhere in the store and that any staff who finds her should take her to the front. The familiar distorted voice of the speakers which most customers ignore described the girls clothes... a white and blue dress.. which was what the little girl infront of me was wearing.. At first i looked for my mum.. then for someone who worked there... no one, so i turned to her and said "Maria?"... She nodded slowly and sunk back more into the shirts.. I couldnt just snatch her and say "here she is" and i didnt really want to leave her... so all i did was hold out my hand and smile lightly.. Hesitant, and scared.. she took two small steps and took my hand... I started to walk back to try and find someone who worked here but i decided ill take her to the front myself because obviously the store has limited clothing staff... heheh.. I walked slow with her so it didnt feel like i was dragging her along... she looked up at me and when she caught my eye i just smiled back... she tightened her grip and weakly smiled back... i felt trusted We got to the front were there were about 4 security guards and 2 ladies sporting the stores uniform.. Along with a crying lady with a pram... It seemed like everyone noticed me at once because they all turned their heads at the same time... Mind you, it was a sale so there were so many people there.. so when one guard yelled at me to go to them it was really embarrassing. The mother took the girl from me without looking at me and her hand slipped from mine without me even noticing because i was just staring at all the people looking at me like i took her from her mother... The girl smiled at me and she didnt look at me again, i only saw it with my peripheral so i didnt get the chance to look at her because i was being questioned by 4 ugly looking dudes and an aged lady with glasses... The young mother looked at me, i saw that, and then rolled away with her pram and my new friend.. heheh So there i was with the stores judge and jury as they kept asking me dumb questions... i explained myself.. but i kinda lied to them when they asked why i didnt give her to a staff member.. i wanted to walk her there so i just said i couldnt find anyone... After ten minutes my mum found me (she also lost her kid in the store ) and they let me go because what kidnapper takes his mother with him? The moment was over and for a good part of that day all i could think about was that little girls face.. My whole system felt wiped clean... i wasnt thinking about my pain, my shattered future or my lost past.. for those few hours i felt like i did all this year.. balanced I cant explain it more than that.. but when the feeling faded i was back to sinking into my own self-hate and pain... The little girl just became another memory and once again i had problems. Why did she trust me? If someone came and held out there hand only saying my name.. i would never even step forward... I wouldnt even meet their eyes until they called me again. Like i said before.. people CAN be human.. humanity is something perfect and precious and a life of hurt can damage someone.. it can break someones trust, innocence and patience in eachother.. Come 3, 5, 10 years - when the girl is older and ill guarentee you she would just be like her mother.. Assuming the worst of others for ones protection. To be utterly vulnerable and give all your trust to someone who merely has a gentle face is suicide in this world... Humility is something so rare in this world, those with the kindest of hearts are usually those who have been through the most pain in life.. You zap a hamster enough times when it goes to take a drink.. then soon enough the hamster wont drink anymore... Thus is one and their trust with the world around them... To put your soul and everything that makes you and defines you into another person is putting your life in their hands... They can destroy you, or they can save you.. it is their choice... You confide your life, you put your trust on the line... you take a risk, no matter how promising the person may seem.. Dont throw your hearts around... there is a difference between being kind and being selfless... For they are both good, but being selfless is also being naive... You have to tend to your own needs and to your own desires aswell.. you cant live purely for others because in turn your life will become incomplete.. The only time that this doesnt apply is when you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life and beyond with... soulmate or lover.. friend or spouse... But this level of trust takes years of work, thoughts, talks, fights, honestly, love and pain... Not only that but it has to go both ways.. if there is no balance between your friendship or relationship then what you have will only fall... Protect your heart, for it will save you alot of heartache.. true friends are rare.. a perfect couple is more rare... Stay true to the ones who trust you and dont betray your promises.. For if that little girl was holding anyone elses hand... the ending could have been much different ...just thinking out loud
One thing I've learnt: trust your instincts. We have them for a reason, and more often than not, they're right.
hmmm, its rather fascinating reading the description of the people staring at you...kind of tells you what thoughts were running through their minds....sighs...
Trust is glass, once it shatters, its gone. anyway, i liked this and its rare for much people to trust the general public. Perhaps, that some people portray the public as a ruthless place to be, maybe thats why people assume the worst. So the best thing to do when you get help is just be careful.
That was touching, thanks. It's stupid how people suspect the bad of you always. Funny thing is, what happened to you was because you were a guy. Say a female returned Marie, the mother would be all thankful to her, what happened to you, she didn't even give you a secound look. Although later Marie will probably tell her what happened, then she'll regret not thanking you, but hey, shit happens. You did the right thing, screw what everyone else says and does to you. You're the good guy, not the bad guy, as you were treated.
There are so many advantages a child has in this world... nothing in their head is defined... they don't know what is impossible or possible. They are perfectly innocent, only believing the best in people. There is no jealousy or hate in little kids. It truely is a clean slate, until they are hit with the harsh imperfections of reality. A marvelous thing, a child is. Having worked with many in my job, I have finally realized that.
i hate kids. but every time i see one, i swear, i have hope. something opens up inside of me. it makes me wonder what makes adults such losers that they have to lose whatever they had as children that made them like that. if everyone had that innocence still, the world would be completely different. maybe not better, but different. it makes me wonder. i long for the days of kindergarten.
I don't know about glass. I'd equate it more to ice. very easy to melt, very difficult to freeze again. Anyway, I liked the original post. Very... relevant, to say the least.