and you can never be sure that what you are dealing with is something that is true or not, if the person that you are talking to is really who you think they are. its hard enough to find that out in real life, let alone online.
I for one find it entirely stupid, and by irony I was just thinking about how much they disgust me before I saw this thread. They are hardly an accurate representation of a relationship and I must recommend people who are considering to do it, to think twice before trying to commit to one. For starters, you dont have the things that are all too important to a relationship. That includes intimate touching and displays of affection. No I don't mean sex. I mean wrapping your arms around the person you love, or stroking their hair..kissing them on the lips or having eye to eye contact with them. Without that, soon one of the parties involved gets bored or tired of it. There's almost never honesty involved in the relationship, cause whether its the man or the woman one of them either isn't being loyal to the one they claim to love or just flat out cheating outright. Think I'm just talking shit? Take it from my experience. More than two of my online ex's cheated on me with several different guys. Biggest clause in this whole ordeal is, if you do it make sure you actually ASK the person out. Cause if you're boyfriend and girlfriend without the title, and really close..they still have an excuse to cheat because you dont 'own them' or whatever way you wanna word it. Secondly, if you have an online relationship and they have something with another person (confirmed) dont trust them when they say its nothing and that they really care about you. Ashley told me that and wound up never going out with me, besides me getting really involved and into a emotional hole I'm only just starting to get out of. When you get that into a person you cannot hold or love in person, its not healthy. The damage it leaves you with once it is all said and done is not worth the investment you put into it in the first place. When you know someone strictly by online there's a whole 'nother side to them that you dont know about. The internet is perfect for being the person you want to be, as just about nobody is like they are on the internet in real life. I am a very outgoing person on the internet and very brave at saying what I want to say, yet in real life I am quiet until I can trust the person and feel like I can be myself around them. Just Ashley was magnificent on the net, and turned out to be a self absorbed bitch in real life. Bottom line, if everyone was like they are on the net, we'd all be supermodels with magnificentely good looks and perfect bodies. People lie. Online relationships feed into that lie. Don't do them.
eh HEM! imagine, children, that this is an online dating community. now if i based my entire view of derek on that statement he made, then i would see him as someone that really knows what they are talking about and want out of life. but you can't do that. how do i know he didn't get that online somewhere and copy and paste it here? (i know you didn't do that derek...) he says he's been through this, and i believe him. BUT what if he wasn't and just made it up to lure some unsuspecting girl into thinking that he's all sensitive and shit cuz he's been through something that he just made up? see you never know. in theory it is a good idea. but the internet is too big, too much room for mistakes. like yahoo, they are good because you can find people near you. so you can see them and get close to them instead of finding someone halfway around the world and deciding who is going to move where. but still.
Well, I agree with Derek, but you've got to think about it. There are so many people who have actually had successful marriages, and they met through online dating websites. I mean, sure, sometimes people are really clueless online. They don't really show their real selves, and it's not necessarily a true thing (anybody read the article about the man who, without knowing, was online dating his own mother?). Online dating is stupid to me, but there are people who can only look to that if they just can't get someone in real life. And sometimes, it ends up being successful.
Yeah but those successful online relationships are not as common as advertised by online dating services and such. Maybe about 20% of every population.
well i am in a good mood today. (i really like this smiley) alcohol induced, but beggars can't be choosers. seriously though, i find it hard enough to trust someone in real life, although it kind of is easier to trust people online, like you guys, but the thing is that none of you know me in my everyday life. someone that i would be trying to have a relationship with is an entirely different story. other than the trust issue, i don't have a problem with online dating. like the moving thing, you don't even know if it will work out so why stress over who you're talking to and their location until you need to? i would never lie about how i look on the internet. i do not like the way i look, but i would be honest. however, i might lie about other things like my location or something, at least until i got to know that person better. to protect myself, not to make myself look better. but yeah, like derek said, i am not like this in real life at all. i do not talk to anyone. at all. unless i get drunk or something. so whatever you guys think i am right now, i'm not. and i don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. but that is because i don't have my looks and my past and my...life preceding my actions on the internet.
ideally, if you found someone close to you that you were interested in, you could just keep the relationship platonic, without issues that require trust, until you end up talking in person and you get to know who they really are. like casey did. i hate to bash this internet dating thing, especially since it looks like my last hope, but people in person can lie too. in the end you never know who to trust. you can find someone you think you know in person and it turns out they are totally different as well, and honestly i would feel stupider for falling for that than on the internet where you don't know what is going on. but in the case of sites like eharmony.com, i really don't think people lie about themselves that much, since you have to pay to use the service. and the ones who do are the freak psycho serial killers. but they don't ask you things like "how much do you weigh?" and blah blah, they word it like "do you think that you are overweight?" and blah blah. the actual "how much do you weigh" part is when you are paired up with that person. so the actual site is not to blame, but the losers that find it important to lie.
Sadly not even people who live close to you work out. Find someone in person..online s**** ****. Go read my got something to let out post, I feel horrible right now.
So you'd rather lie to someone in order to have a relationship? That sounds incredibly desperate, no offense. Edit - I just read the rest of your posts. You're against lying and all of that and yet you want to try an online relationship because they won't know about your "drama" which in turn would be you lying about your life and claiming there is no "drama." I'm pretty sure my head's spinning right now. I'm not trying to stir anything up but come on. You're inconsistent.
no i am not saying that i would lie about the drama, but i would not volunteer the info. the drama that i am talking about does not surround me, but includes me. basically because people opened their mouths, other people think i am something that i am not, and i do not want to live with people thinking that. i want a chance to start over, and i am saying that a relationship online would be easier than one in person right now.