http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=6729 Don't click that link if mommy and daddy don't let you look at partially clothed women. In case that actually applies to anyone, here's the list: 20. “Hey Baby” No Doubt Never have the goings-on between a rock band and its groupies been so boring, largely because Gwen is less interested in hoochies than her tea (it’s chamomile, if you were wondering). Low point: “Hey baby, hey baby, hey!” (Repeat 6,000 times.) 19. “We Like to Party!” Vengaboys It would have been forgotten if not for a Six Flags commercial featuring a freaky dancing man that was more nauseating than any ad not for herpes medication. Low point: “The wheels of steel are turning/And traffic lights are burning/ So if you like to party/Get on and move your body.” 18. “The Girl Is Mine” Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney Spoken word bits are tricky, as Jacko’s duet with the cute Beatle proves. Let’s just say that when MJ comes across as the masculine one, something’s gone very, very wrong. Low point: “Paul, I think I told you, I’m a lover not a fighter.” 17. “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” The Proclaimers Scotland has given us many fine things (like golf, scotch, and Groundskeeper Willie), but that doesn’t excuse these twins for combining impenetrable dialect with nasal whine. Worse than haggis. Low point: “DA DA DA DA DA!/DA DA DA DA DA!/Lika lika lika lika la, la, la.” 16. “This Kiss” Faith Hill It’s a little bit country, a little bit rock’n’roll, and a whole lot of shit. A catchily mediocre love song achieves a special kind of awful when Tim McGraw’s hot wife tries to drop science. Stay away from the physics, Faith (at least until the Stephen Hawking mash-up). Low point: “It’s centrifugal motion/It’s perpetual bliss/It’s that pivotal moment/It’s (ah) impossible/This kiss, this kiss—unstoppable.” 15. “Who Let the Dogs Out” Baha Men The most famous group from the Bahamas gave us a song where the chant of “woof woof woof woof” is the least irritating part. Meanwhile, Jamaica produced Bob Marley and Peter Tosh. Low point: “Get back, Ruffy/Bye, Scruffy/Get back, you flea-infested mongrel.” 14. “It’s a Small World” This proves that, no matter where people come from, they have something in common: We all despise this song. Thanks, Disney. Low point: “It’s a small world, after all/It’s a small world, after all/It’s a small world, after all/It’s a small, small world.” 13. “Secret Garden (Jerry Maguire version)” Bruce Springsteen If there’s a tune that can’t be ruined by Cuba Gooding Jr., we’ve yet to hear it. Low point: Cuba: “You’ve got to be fair to her! She loves you. If you don’t love her, you have got to tell her!” 12. “Vertigo” U2 “Hello, hello (Hola!)” When you can make The Joshua Tree, you’re held to a higher standard. The only thing more baffling than the discovery that Bono speaks Spanish—kind of—was the realization that U2 absolutely adores this tune, using it to open and close shows. Be careful, boyos, lest ye go the way of R.E.M. Low point: “Unos, dos, tres—catorce!” 11. “Nookie” Limp Bizkit Fred Durst, quadruple threat: He can’t sing, rap, write lyrics, or even get a gym membership so he wouldn’t be such a load. A fantastic opening riff goes tragically to waste. Low point: “Stick it up your yeah!/Stick it up your yeah!/Stick it up your yeah!” 10. “Pray” MC Hammer You can’t smear feces on the Mona Lisa and call it art. Yet Hammer desecrates the brilliant “When Doves Cry.” Angered, the Lord smites him with bankruptcy. Low point: “I tried and tried and tried and tried to make a way/But nothing happened till the day that I prayed.” 9. “Trapped in the Closet (Chapters 1–5)” R. Kelly This epic shows the dark side of adultery. For if an accused pedophile does not uphold moral standards, who will? Low point: “‘Oh, my goodness!/I’m about to climax’/ And I said, ‘Cool/ Climax/Just let go of my leg!’” 8. “Tom’s Diner” Suzanne Vega Rhyming is hard! At least it is for Suzanne. Happily, she doesn’t let this stop her from capturing the thrills of sitting in a diner. Low point: “I am waiting/At the counter/For the man/To pour the coffee.” 7. “With Arms Wide Open” Creed Did you know when a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina, they can make a baby? So does everyone else, but Scott Stapp drones on as if he were the first man ever to knock somebody up. Low point: “We stand in awe/We’ve created life.” 6. “Electric Boogie” Marcia Griffiths We’ll let Ms. Griffiths speak for herself: “It’s electric!/Boogie woogie woogie/ Diggita Mrs. Kelly with the bubbling electric belly/She’s moving along with the electric/ She sure got the boogie!” She sure does. 5. “Wannabe” Spice Girls A second, far crappier British invasion happened in the ’90s, as the Spice Girls paid us back in spades for every joke we ever told about English dentistry. Low point: “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah!” 4. “Wonderful Christmas Time” Paul McCartney Could he really once have been a Beatle? Say what you will about Ringo, but at least Mr. Starr never ruined Jesus’ birthday. Low point: “The choir of children sing their song/Ding, dong, ding, dong.” 3. “My Heart Will Go On” Celine Dion The Titanic sinking cost some 1,500 people their lives. Celine hasn’t killed that many yet, but give her time. The second most tragic event to result from that fabled ocean liner continues to torment humanity years later, as Canada’s cruelest shows off a voice as loud as a sonic boom, though not nearly so pretty. Low point: “Love was when I loved you/One true time I hold to.” 2. “Your Body Is a Wonderland” John Mayer Rock’s biggest tool offers a mix of cheese (“You want love?/We’ll make it”) and outright stalking (“I know you’re mine/All mine/All mine”). Low point: “One thing I’ve left to do/Discover me/ Discovering you.” 1. “HollaBack Girl” Gwen Stefani The millennium is young, yet the next 1,000 years can’t possibly bring a more nerve-shredding tune. What begins as a pathetic school fight song (“So I’m ready to attack/Gonna lead the pack/Gonna get a touchdown/Gonna take you out!”) achieves a shrillness for the ages when Gwen shows off her ability to spell. Mrs. Rossdale, your song S-U-C-K-S. Low point: “This shit is bananas…B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”
*applauds Maxim for their #1 choice* Very well done. That is quite possibly the worst song I have ever heard in my life.
Just goes to show you how successful Gwen Stefani is. When you can make a song that people loathe, you're doing something right. You're making a good pop song.
They probably made the list before the song came out. Because if they didn't, there's no excuse for that not making the top 5.
17. “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” The Proclaimers i cant BELIEVE that is in there, up here that is still a HUGE song, and its quickly becoming our new national anthem, that song is a cracker, and everyone loves to tap along to it
2005 has been a downright shit year for pop music. Here's my top 3 worst songs ever which all happen to be in 2005 copied off my msn space. 3rd PLACE -"Crazy Frog" by Axel F - Now, I can usually bare the thought that there is music this shit out there but this is a disgusting event. The 'song' is utter shit. I just didn't know there was enough scum alive to buy this record to get it to number one. The human race has reached a new low 2nd PLACE - "My Humps" by Black Eyed Pea's - Black Eyed Pea's are the worst piece of fucking horse shit I have ever heard. My Humps, Hey Mama, Don't lie, all total crap . Honestly, it makes me feel like stabbing them and every one else in the music scene today. And I would gladly go to jail for it. 1st PLACE - "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani - First, Gwen Stefani knew that she couldn't get away with a song where all she says is, "Cause I ain't no hollaback girl." So she threw in some other lyrics that make no sense whatsoever and do not explain why she isnt a "Hollaback Girl" Secondly, what in the blue hell is a Hollaback girl anyway??? Thirdly, any song that includes the lyric ,"The shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S" qualifys as being the worst song of the year...Or even ever for that matter.
Hey, Black-Eyed Peas used to be good before the mainstream. Don't judge them on one song. Oh, and 'stabbing every one else in the music scene today' means stabbing all musicians. Good job, Skywalker.
Surely I can't be the only person who thinks Hollaback Girl shouldn't be anywhere near "the worst song of all time". I mean, it certainly wasn't a great song, or even a very good one, but c'mon, the worst song of all time? Think of all the songs that have ever been made.
Worst song ever made? Hmmm... I would vote for "College Girls are Easy" and I have no idea who did that song. Good thing too, because I would rip out their throat for making such a godawful song.
Yeah, you're right. Hollaback Girl was minimally better than Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. Other than that, it is pretty much the worst song ever.
How fucking predictable is that? Oh, wait, it's a mens magazine, they know nothing about music. Though putting Gwen Stefani at number 1 is better than Zoo including I'm Not Okay by MCR in their ultimate metal playlist.