Haven't had a good political debate in awhile. Although it's not much of a debate when more than 90% of the members share the same beliefs Dear Red States... We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. Peace out, Blue States
I don't know whether to be offended that southern states are still considered slave states in this letter, not to mention calling people who live in this section of the US fat, unable to hold a decent marriage, and that we are hit with the most natural disasters. Maybe I'll move to a Blue State where everything is so much better. I guess I'm just slightly offended since most likely this was all just a joke.
If the statistics are true (and I'm not sure, I haven't actually verified what was said in this email) then I guess I see your point, but the thing is just stating facts.
dude...thats one crap show...they only have decent episodes every now and then [/b][/quote] HERESY! HERESY!
dude...thats one crap show...they only have decent episodes every now and then [/b][/quote] I'll bake you some cookies and give them to you because you sure do deserve more than one.
This is kind of interesting. Please note that this person does it in reverse, blue = Bush, red = Kerry. But that's not the point, just something I thought I would point out to avoid confusion. Are you sure you still want all those states, Todd? And here's just CA, courtesy of CNN... (this one uses the usual method of Kerry=blue, Bush=red) What am I saying? Nothing, really. You're post made me laugh, Todd. I'm just pointing out that cities are generally liberal whereas the more rural you get the more conservative you get...So since the majority of CA's residents live in the cities along the coast, the majority of the states votes will go to the liberal canidate. But that's a whole lot of conservative-voting counties... Whereas my state (Virginia) is very definitely a conservative state, but my county (which is right near UVA) is very liberal. So I see a flaw in your plan. Sure you don't want to divide into smaller chuncks?
Yeah, I'm kinda offended that the south still can't get away from the slave bullshit. So this whole thread gets a big, fat NAY from me.
Kind of hard to make your own nation when you're surrounded by obese, single slave owners who have no fresh water. A little bit of sarcasm there, since I do live in the south.