taken with a scapel,sliced by a surgeon surging pain questions,drugged when awaken piece by piece we retain consciousness assisted by chemistry science for price of less holed in my soul which was stabbed by a pole holding resistance using a handful of control continue while alive we must,alive i must waste the longlived trust swallowed by dust for we waste cells trapped and caged in sin peircing within until it takes apart the skin resounding until our ears break and bleed while we entertain what we hate to feed it's perceptive to deny pain is deceptive from not being protective and then held captive shot with unintentive but persuasive shots glued to the floor,barely alive and filled with cuts so that's the way life is,what life really is so in truth,we are so ignored,dissed and pissed forever victims to this cycle of drama and science straining ourselves in fame with no more conscience so. it'd rather be stuck in the same old same rut than be someone else muliated for the public's cut share same dreams in slums begging for crumbs witnessing and sharing sad stories to bums. just to be saved. but urban caged. ... guys.i really need ur critiques on this one. i'm open to ur feedback. thanks alot.
Some of the rhyming sounds forced, but some lines I really like. Overall, I think it's a good piece of work.