Commitment

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Friskey™, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. #1
    Friskey™

    Friskey™ LPA Super Member LPA Addict

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    This is one of the first songs I ever wrote and I happened to find it on another site, so i'm going to post it here.

    Bear with me here, this was written back in like 2001, so if it feels somewhat forced, that was why.

    "Commitment"

    Haven't you felt the way that I feel today
    Did you subside yourself to the fall
    Did you help me out with all of my problems
    While you were down the hall

    Always seeing how your god damn spirited
    It's kinda nice that you feel our passion
    It's kinda sweet that you felt my love again
    And rekindled it to cash in
    Our love again

    And you
    And me
    We both see the light
    With you
    With me
    Always through the night
    I see you
    You see me
    We love each other through night and day
    I love you
    You love me
    We know that we always act that way

    Talking about the way I act to you
    What problems do we have to make us scream
    About the way that I am
    That the way it just seems

    But I love you so dearly
    You bring my mind to a screeching halt
    When the hard times come to my mind again
    Your kind affection brings my ways back to default

    Bring me back to my orignial state of mind
    Where I feel no pain in my head
    Just take me and bring me back to normal
    Where I wish I wasn't dead

    Hold me tight, and never let me go
    Sleep with me again, and make me feel like...
     
  2. #2
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    I absolutely loved the second stanza! ^_^
     
  3. #3
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    besides some forced rhyme, the song is surprisingly good, definately if you wrote it way back in 2001. Maybe you could re-work it a touch, and make her great.
     
  4. #4
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Excellent work. It doesn't feel forced to me. ^_^
     
  5. #5
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    concidering when you wrote it, it's quite good, still like to see something new by you though :D
     
  6. #6
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    This is excellent work.
     

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