Here I go again. Its ok. Fair Body Fair body of my dove Has lifted me above Flying through the air My last breath soars Body in the ground My body lay bare The dove sets flight Breathing air and light Back my soul goes Descending into my body down below Fair body of my dove Has lifted me above
deffinately not your best....you seem to be in a position where you are forcing your rhymes which is causing you to use the wrongs words. Take it easy and just write down what comes naturally...then you can change it around. Sorry if it sounds harsh....just trying to be helpful...hope you understand
Ether's right, if you have to sit down and really think about what your going to have to write, line for line, it won't work, you need to free the mind. I don't think your doing that.