Pity

If I had to choose,
I would go back to the noose.

To feel the blood
To get rid of the crud.

To see if I life ever I had,
None I see, good to bad.

Life I saw so unreal,
Rolling into me like the teal.

Of the curtains, draped,
Raped and scraped.

Away from everything,
I know but to sing.

A song of hate,
A game of wait.

I sit here to heal,
For it is so unreal.

 

Definently not your best, it felt very forced, i know you can do much better.

 

I agree, this felt a little forced, but it wasn't too bad.

 

seemed too fixed and rigid, sorry to say. but it wasn't bad.

 

Yea, you have done much better, but this isn't too bad itself. B)

 

I second that

 

Maybe you should fix it a little.