Fallen Romance

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Stick N move, Sep 19, 2005.

  1. #1
    Stick N move

    Stick N move Well-Known Member

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    Fallen Romance (newer version)

    Don’t mind me ‘cause I’m done
    Let my fall be your passion
    And just leave me be
    Just let me live
    I don’t mind about you
    Or all your fallen angels
    Let me rise from the ashes
    And just let me feel

    I’m just another body
    Let the wheel turn on
    Another link in the cable
    Of a broken man

    Why do you say you're confused
    You are born with ignorance
    At the end you will fall
    I will arise
    Pictures faded grey
    Watch them, let it burn me
    Let it be ashes to ashes
    Eye for an eye

    I’m just another body
    Let the wheel turn on
    Another link in the cable
    Of a broken man

    Please stop this romance
    Oh please let me hate you
    I know you now
    Oh please let me be

    You’re just another body
    Let the wheel turn on
    Another link in the cable
    An ignorant one

    You’re just another body
    Let the wheel turn on
    Another link in the cable
    An ignorant one


    maybe it's not done yet.. it is the first version..
    please rate ^_^
     
  2. #2
    Ether

    Ether Well-Known Member

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    its deffinately got potential.....work on it and see what happens....good start though!!!
     
  3. #3
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    I didn't really like the start of this poem, same with the other verse of the same length, i didn't really like the repetitiveness.

    The whole structure was a bit too repetative for my liking aswell. The basic idea, and the lyrics are good, it's the constant repeating that really brings down this poem for me.
     
  4. #4
    Stick N move

    Stick N move Well-Known Member

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    i'll work on it.
    tnx guys ^_^
     
  5. #5
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Good job.
     
  6. #6
    Stick N move

    Stick N move Well-Known Member

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    i've worked on it.. and i created this newer version..

    hope you like it more..
     

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