To Leave and Lose

Here is something I put together a while ago...

To Leave and Lose

I open the book, the pages are torn
conscription of the mind seems dull
windows of glass on the other side
warn that the brain is confined to the skull.

take control
you always do
take control
and make your move

sublime of time at the end of a day
the edge of the seam, it starts to fray
darkness falls to cover the land
dust to dust ashes in hand.

Turn your back
You always do
Turn your back
To leave and lose

they say that time will heal the heart
they say the world will fall apart
I want to know just what you mean
I need to know when you’ll come clean

This pain is just to much to take
It’s tearing me apart
You love is just another game
That’s ripping up my fucking heart!

Take control
You always do
Turn your back
To leave and lose

 

i really like it....8.6/10

 

This is pretty good.

 

u have an awesome mind

 

I'll give it a 7/10.

 

Thanks to all above.....its good to get comments so I know how im going with me pieces....once again thanks

 

Great work, it was simple but suprisingly good and very catchy, really draws the reader in. This is the first i've read from you and i'm liking it. i give it 7.5/10. Awsome work.

 

Thanks David

 

its quite good....around 8/10 or smthing....

 

its great

just my type of lyric.. but still i think there is no real story.. sorry for saying it.. i just don't see a line

otherwise.. well done!

 

Thanks man....it does have a story though, maybe you have to look harder ....hint: has something to do with a possesive person :angry:

 

Your sig is stretching the forums.

 

hmmm my sig eh....ill see if i can use that constructively lol j/k......

 

Nope, not your sig, mine. Like I said, nice poem, and I hope my sig's not stretching the forums anymore.

 

Yeah I gathered it was your sig....hence the 'joke' I included....Thanks for your comments though