These thought inside my head

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by heshboy, Aug 31, 2005.

  1. #1
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Messages:
    549
    Likes Received:
    0



    This song I feel is great, I really love the chorus. Just tell me what you think; I just hope it’s not too weak. Thanks


    Sometimes I have these wrongful thoughts
    About something harmful I brought
    These thoughts are shrieking out of control, and Creeping in the back of my head
    I am feeling dead, Breaking my strength within
    Why can’t I dig deep inside and save myself from this sin?
    Falling down, all around, and hearing awful sounds, I have lost my smile
    But again my head feels like it’s about to explode
    I am tired of holding my nose
    So, Why can’t my mind just close?
    Because I am thinking so slow
    I just don’t know
    Here it goes


    (Chorus)


    These awful sounds
    I want them to quiet down (just quiet down)
    This awful noise
    I want it to quiet down (just quiet down)
    I know it's getting deeper every time
    Trying to close my mind
    My mind's trying to run away
    Now grasping but again turned astray
    I just want this noise to go away

    These cries are deep inside
    They just won’t step aside
    Bringing crazy thoughts of what I am not, are getting louder every time
    I am moving in slow motion, and still getting strange notions
    Inside my head today, my minds gone astray
    Why must I pay attention to all this noise that keeps me from being poised?
    I just want to shout out, and bring out all these chimes in mind
    they're bringing my insanity louder every time, I don’t want to cry, just to yell out what's on my mind
    Just one last time
    Here’s my cry


    (Chorus)


    These awful sounds
    I want them to quite down (just quite down)
    This awful noise
    I want it to quite down (just quite down)
    I know its' getting deeper every time
    Trying to close my mind
    My minds trying to run away
    Now grasping but again turned a stray
    I just want this noise to go away
     
  2. #2
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,551
    Likes Received:
    166



    This is good, but you've made a few spelling mistakes. Grr, it seems that all the comments I make remark on the spelling of the writers. Bugger. Never mind.

    Edit: Here are the mistakes; all minor, nothing serious. They're in bold.

    These awful sounds
    I want them to quite down (just quite down) (quiet)
    This awful noise
    I want it to quite down (just quite down) (quiet)
    I know it's getting deeper every time
    Trying to close my mind
    My minds trying to run away (mind's)
    Now grasping but again turned a stray (astray)
    I just want this noise to go away

    These cries are deep inside
    They just won’t step aside
    Bringing crazy thoughts of what I am not, are getting louder every time
    I am moving in slow motion, and still getting strange notions
    Inside my head today, my minds gone astray (mind's)
    Why must I pay attention to all this noise that keeps me from being poise? (poised?)
    I just want to shout out, and bring out all these chimes in mind
    Their (they're) bringing my insanity louder every time, I don’t want to cry, just to yell out wants on mind (what's on my mind?)
    Just one last time
    Here’s my cry
     
  3. #3
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Messages:
    549
    Likes Received:
    0



    Are you serious? Please point them out. I went through spell check too many times. B)
     
  4. #4
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,190
    Likes Received:
    1



    Good.
     
  5. #5
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Messages:
    549
    Likes Received:
    0



    torn rose thanks for the help; I can't believe I didn't see those.
     

Share This Page