Creation

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by heshboy, Aug 17, 2005.

  1. #1
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Hi I am new, and this is the first time I ever tryed to create something, so the name of the song is "creation" or "Things to Say."

    I just changed some things in the song, and think it's better. If you can't tell what I cahnged, I still need more imput, thanks.


    "Creation" or "Things to Say"


    I got things to say, that I must let out

    The song’s of accomplishment is an astonishment that created a void in time, it was a crime
    The ally (Trying to wake you in my mind, trying to create a void in time)
    Trying to break me, It began to wake you
    Trying to create me, It created you
    What did you think had happened? That you created me?
    No, It created you

    As I get ready for this day to begin
    I remember the times us ally’s had as friends
    The distress put upon me is a forgery, This pen cannot get rid of this tortur’y
    The significant mastery of the un forgetfulness sorcery
    It had me confused, un amused, and the times withdrew
    Forever I was stumped about the past of my mind
    Was I right or was I wrong? (Maybe a bit too long)
    The song’s of accomplishment is an astonishment that created a void in time, it was a crime

    Things to say, and things to do, it doesn’t really matter about you

    The ally (Trying to wake you in my mind, trying to create a void in time)
    Trying to break me, It began to wake you
    Trying to create me, It created you
    What did you think had happened? You created me?
    No, It created you

    As I get ready for this day to end
    I realized that I had created the biggest sin
    To take what has not been presented to me
    I took what had not been given to me
    To create what only god has given
    Trying to hold on eventually
    Is a time I regret in my soul
    And to give back the time that I had stole
    I was Tortured that the toughness had disappeared, and won’t reappear
    Till the day that I repent these sins, the anger begins


    Burning deep inside is this anger I cannot deny, Is

    The ally (Trying to wake you in my mind, trying to create a void in time)
    Trying to break me, It began to wake you
    Trying to create me, It created you
    What did you think had happened? You created me?
    No, It created you

    The ally (Trying to wake you in my mind, trying to create a void in time)
    Trying to break me, It began to wake you
    Trying to create me, It created you
    What did you think had happened? You created me?


    No, no, no It created you
     
  2. #2
    linkinpark_ben25

    linkinpark_ben25 In Your Face!

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    what a excellent first post :lol:

    good work, ill be looking forward for more work of yours in the future
     
  3. #3
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Thank's, I like it too, but I feel it could be better.
     
  4. #4
    linkinpark_ben25

    linkinpark_ben25 In Your Face!

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    yes i think the chorus could be worked on, and i think it is to repetative
     
  5. #5
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    That's what I was thinking.
     
  6. #6
    linkinpark_ben25

    linkinpark_ben25 In Your Face!

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    ask saunderitos (however you spell it) to help you, he is very good at writing songs
     
  7. #7
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Ok, thanks. I like the rap's, but I am always going over this and rewriting, and changing thing's. I find this really fun.
     
  8. #8
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    I just changed some things in the song, in my first post, please give feedback, and some advice.
     

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