i can't think of a title for this one so i have just left it as untitled... (it's not that great either.. ) Peel off my pain Suffocate my sadness Sleep away my sorrow Decompress my depression And leave behind my loneliness One day I will win this fight...
I like it. But length is of the necessary . and that sounds wrong...lol....if you make it longer...then yayness. I'm still writing my new poem, so i'll have it up in the next week.
Length has nothing to do with the process of writing a good poem. If a person can say exactly what they want to say, powerfully, then more power to them. What's with everyone thinking poems need to be long? Anyways, good job fallenangel, it's not bad at all.
thanks all for the comments! i like to be able to write poems of all different lengths and i like how a shorter poem can be like a short, sharp shock. it sometimes gets to people more that longer one do. although i do value everyones opinions a great deal, i like the lenth of this one and if i tried to make it longer, it would ruin the feel. again, thanks all for the comments!
Oops. My bad. I didn't mean the length thing to be an insult to the poem or anything like that. It's a great poem, and you write really good short ones. Apology over.
I actually really liked it, it was short but it concluded nicely and protrayed the meaning i think you were trying to get across. I lIKE IT.
don't worry torn rose! i didn't take it as being an insult. so no need for the apology. and david, thanks for the comments. glad you liked it!