Suffer (Like Me)

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by a life in ashes, Jul 2, 2005.

  1. #1
    a life in ashes

    a life in ashes mercury summer

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    a life in ashes, Jul 2, 2005



    Suffer (Like Me)

    Suffering I feel like nothing,
    Fragile life is nothing,
    So cold feeling nothing,
    Dig in dig deep dig up the shards,
    And break me,

    Suffer,
    Fallen,
    Hated,

    Pain full of nothing,
    Hate breeding nothing,
    The skies burnt to nothing,
    Scream now scream why scream hate,
    You can’t stop me,

    Suffer,
    Suffer like me,
    Fallen,
    Fallen like me,
    Hated,
    Hated like me,

    Catch your breath,
    Here it goes,
    Nothing left,
    Feeling stung,
    No more life,
    Release in death,
    The sickness comes,
    Do you believe,

    Suffer,
    Fallen,
    Hated,

    Suffer,
    Suffer like me,
    Fallen,
    Fallen like me,
    Hated,
    Hated like me.


    thoughts please...
     
  2. #2
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Luke, Jul 2, 2005



    Not bad but room for improvement. :)

    However this is like the greatest set of lyrics ever compared to your parody of Wonderwall :lol:
     
  3. #3
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    fallenangel, Jul 2, 2005



    i thought this was ok, not fantastic but not bad either!

    i actually like how you use the one liners for that extra kick:

    overall, not a bad job! ^_^
     
  4. #4
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    lp_sk8ergurl, Jul 3, 2005



    Wasn't that bad.
     
  5. #5
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    D_A_V_I_D, Jul 3, 2005



    Totally agree, one liners can ruin a poem but you used them well, it wasn't fantastic, but it was an improvement from last time. Good job.
     

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