The Differences of Men and Women

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Tomi, Jun 18, 2005.

  1. #1
    Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    01. Eating Out 1
    If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

    If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy


    02. Eating Out 2
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in £20.00 even though it’s only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


    03. Money
    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants.

    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item she doesn’t need.

    04. Bathrooms
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothpaste, a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

    The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


    05. Arguments
    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    06. Cats
    Women love cats.

    Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.


    07. Future
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


    08. Success
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    09. Marriage
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.


    10. Dressing Up
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


    11. Natural
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


    12. Offspring
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
     
  2. #2
    Cale.

    Cale. Banned

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    Thats a good one :lol:
     
  3. #3
    Atsuzen

    Atsuzen Super Member LPA Super Member

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    :wth:


    :lol:
     
  4. #4
    Amanda

    Amanda RIP Chester LPA Super VIP

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    Me and my guy friends do that constantly. I'm either Sato, Peanut or Tim-Tim.

    POOR KITTIES!

    :lol: !!
     
  5. #5
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    :lol: :lol: !!
     
  6. #6
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    yay, those were my favorites ^_^

    nice, Tomi
     
  7. #7
    Ryan

    Ryan You Greasy Bastard LPA Super VIP

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    Good work Tomi, your my hero.
     
  8. #8
    Debus

    Debus Morbid Fascination LPA Addict

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    :lol: That's some funny stuff!
     
  9. #9
    the_king_of_all

    the_king_of_all LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    :lol: i guess some of that is actualy true... there would be i few things i would add on there though (not new things, just extend a few)
     
  10. #10
    Tom

    Tom LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    :lol: my favorite is no. 8 lol
     
  11. #11
    hybrid_fan

    hybrid_fan Ambient

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    :lol: :lol:
     
  12. #12
    Canadian Joe

    Canadian Joe Bacon strips LPA Super VIP

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    So freakin' true :lol: Especially the part about 'paying for food'...although for me, it's usually "Joe, do you have money, cause we don't!"
     
  13. #13
    Evan™

    Evan™ HI! I'm Randy, I'm a Bandicoot Über Member

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    lolz.....the whole thing is quite true....where did you get this stuff? :p
     
  14. #14
    Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    :lol: Yep, same. :p
     
  15. #15
    CloserToCrawling

    CloserToCrawling Ambient

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    That was a good one! I loved the last comment. :lol:
     
  16. #16
    Adam

    Adam !!!! LPA Super Member

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    :lol: , that's so true.
     
  17. #17
    the_face_inside

    the_face_inside Well-Known Member

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    women: mind

    men: nevermind

    :lol:
     
  18. #18
    amanda_diane

    amanda_diane Well-Known Member

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    Those are great! :lol: :D :p
     
  19. #19
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    ROFLMFAO! :lol:


    Hey I'm a dude and i love my cat,that broken leg happened when it jumped down the stairs too quickly :shifty:


    :lol:

    But I do love my cats,just to set the record straight :lol:
     

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