Just Something

As i sit here.
Staring at death.
As though is it my friend.
The one true person.
I thought was always there.

Has ripped the heart.
From my very own chest.
I can hardly breath.
I cry so hard.
That blood starts flow.

And I don't want to show.
The pain that I suffer.
I wish it was ok
But its not.

I hate what've become.
No loss, or No more.
And I still sit here.
Looking at death.

 

You may want to add some more stuff to it but so far it's looking good.

 

like it maybe a bit short
really nice when you menchond the death in the beginning and in the end.

 

yeah, i agree with lpsk8er. i think it has a great essence to it but with just a little more work, it would be really great.

as it is, though, it is still good.