Dance with the Angel of Death If you dance with the Angel of Death He will take away your breath Swirling the life out of your veins And as he takes you into his arms Your memory of love will fade If you dance with the Angel of Death He will grab you close, his breath so cold And your feet will no longer touch the ground You will float high as your life is drained And everything will be left, including your shame If you dance with the Angel of Death It will just go dark and black Then there will be no going back Your life will end and you will cease to exist As your ashes fly away into the mist i know this is not my best but i am trying to experiment with more and more ideas. i feel like i have been stuck lately so i am just writing about everything! any comments will be nice and helpful...
It's pretty good. Still, one thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to rhyme. There are other ways to make it flow, sometimes they work better than rhyming. Besides, a poem doesn't even have to flow to be good. The important thing is the meaning your getting across with the poem and how well you explain and support it. However, I do like this poem a lot. Good job.
aww, thank you! you always give me great advice and i will take what you have said and experiment even more...