Well i believe this is better than my last but i've still got some writters block. Not as bad as when i last wrote but enough to restrict my thought flow from creating a great poem. Still working on a title not sure exacly what to call it. Hope someone likes it. Why do I see the world in black. Why can I only see the pain. Confused by the suffering all around, I can’t see the good or the light. Why is it that all I can see. Is an eternal night. Tell me the secret Of how you see good, Tell me how, You can be happy, How can you see, When all I see is darkness. You walk away from me, And I know why, Cause I live in a world of darkness, And you live in the light, Come now, ease my pain, Why are you still walking away I can’t live like this When I know there’s so much more, Come back now, Before it is too late for you Don’t make me take what should be given, My love I want to live, I’ll rip out your eyes, Take them so I can see, Tear out your heart, So I can once again feel. Drink your blood, To know what it is to live, But my sight is tinted red, And my heart won’t pump for me, And all your life that’s in me, Is only causing grief Cause killing you for all this, Is too great of a price to pay. So now I see a world of red, At least it is a change to darkness, But I still feel the pain, And all is the same, And at the end of the day, Nothing has changed.
thought this was ok, again not your best work... but i thought this bit really was good this shows some good thinking! keep at it david, your brain will overflow soon with wonderful words and i will be there waiting!
see, this was the orginal part of it that i thought of. But then i keep getting writters block and i can't make a poem out of it like i use to. It sucks but theres nothing i can do. I'll just keep writting and hope it goes away. Thanks for your comments anyway.
Nice job buddy. It's not your best, but it's not bad at all. Keep trying man, writers block sucks but it goes away.