Feel my pain

Ok i don't feel this is as good as some of my others but i was trying to write through writers block and i came up with this. I still decided to post it but yer. Don't be suprised if you don't think it is that great.

Feel all the pain you’ve caused me,
Feel all the hate you brought,
Feel knife only plunge deeper,
Cutting further into my heart,

Don’t think you didn’t leave me with a scar,
Don’t think no one can see my wounds,
Cause all you’ve done is not forgiven,
And what you’ve done will always hurt.

Now do you think I’ll ever be happy?
Tell me ‘cause I don’t know.
You’ve stolen all my dreams and hopes,
How could you do this you stupid hoe.

Now I don’t want a happy place,
Some where to be at peace,
Cause I know that will never happen,
It is a dream that will never be,

Instead I’ll take you down with me,
Take the whole world if I can,
And we can all weep together,
For the pain of just one man.

Cause I cannot bear all this,
Slowly I’m being crushed,
So I’ll make the whole world bear my pain,
And then everyone can see.

How it feels to be left behind.
To love but to never be loved.
To try and put faith in something false.
And almost die when it all falls apart.

Now the only way I can take you down,
And put you in the pain you deserve,
Is to leave you with a guilt,
That you shall never be free of.

So as you read this letter,
You will now know why,
I had to add another knife,
To the one you stabbed me with,

And I will take you down,
And you will feel my pain,
And at least one person,
Will also be dismayed

 

i abosuloutely love this part...if you don't call this your best...i call it my best...AMAZING!!!

 

i abosuloutely love this part...if you don't call this your best...i call it my best...AMAZING!!! [/b][/quote]
Thanks. i sort of felt lost when writing because i couldn't express want i really wanted to and in the end the poem wasn't what i first intended.

That would have to be my favourite verse because it was where i was trying to head with the poem when i began writting it. Thanks for the comment.

 

Thanks. i sort of felt lost when writing because i couldn't express want i really wanted to and in the end the poem wasn't what i first intended.

That would have to be my favourite verse because it was where i was trying to head with the poem when i began writting it. Thanks for the comment. [/b][/quote]
the thing is that you set your mind free when you write...it actually helps at times but at other times it drifts you away. i hope i'm right 'cause i've felt that at times...

 

the thing is that you set your mind free when you write...it actually helps at times but at other times it drifts you away. i hope i'm right 'cause i've felt that at times... [/b][/quote]
Totally write, when i write, i'm not trying to achieve something, creat something how i want it to turn out, it is never planned. I jave a basic idea. a thought, a word and then let my mind free.

 

david, although it isn't one of the best i have read from you, it is still pretty darn good!

at least you are still managing to write, me on the other hand, have complete and utter writers block! :wth:

i know you are just going to keep on coming with this wonderful stuff and i can't wait to read more of it!

 

Thanks

 

i abosuloutely love this part...if you don't call this your best...i call it my best...AMAZING!!! [/b][/quote]
I have to agree with that. Not of your best poems, but it's still good. You are a really talented person and I kind of felt identified with some lines. Its good for you to discover new things everyday, and i'm pretty sure you'll learn a lot from this poem and improve your skills (which already rock). Awesome david, please keep writing

 

Seems like a very good song.