Love's true face

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Il inno di morte, Jun 5, 2005.

  1. #1
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    Love's true face

    I’d like a world full of sadness
    A world without joy
    Cuz inside this evil blindness
    I’m nothing but his toy

    He makes me want to drown
    Inside what gives him bliss
    With such a heavy crown
    He gets me on my knees

    Everything has been told
    He’s deep inside of me
    And I’ll forever hold
    What keeps me from being free…
     
  2. #2
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    this was good, short but to the fucking point!

    this bit was my fav...

    :thumbsup:
     
  3. #3
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

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    Well if you ask me this definetly cant be one of your best,honestly I have seen so much of your talent,I mean by all means this doesnt seem to be in the league of what I have read of yours,but then this is like the movie The Matrix,it had set such a high bar for itself with everything in the movie that forget other movies wich tried to ape it,even the two sequels couldnt match to the first movie(though the sequels by any standard were great),but still it couldnt match to the bar set by the first movie,this is something like it,you have set a bar for yourself with your other poems that even if this poem is like others its bound that I feel its not as good as others,Ok this is getting too long now :chemist: ,but definetly I expect much more from you and am damn sure that you will give your best,keep writing.

    P.S:Sorry if I was rude with my comments and then I maybe wrong too but this what I felt.
     
  4. #4
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    I like it. It's short, and direct. I do think that your other works are better, but this is amazing in its own way...keep it up! ;)
     
  5. #5
    Lpimp

    Lpimp Extremely H! Vltg3

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    Nice job Sparklin Diamond,i like it!
     
  6. #6
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Very well done.
     
  7. #7
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    the guy must've been a killer...

    very painful and brilliant...good job! ^_^
     
  8. #8
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Though this poem is not my favourite of yours i don't think anyone has the right to say it is not your best because saying that it isn't someones best if fact while really it is only your oppinion. I like the directness of this poem. Short and sweet. Even though it isn't my favourite i think you pulled off a great poem which is written a bit differently to some of your previous ones. It is the great poet who explores all the different aspects of poetry to get a better understanding of it and how they can make poetry work for them.

    Again, amazing job. Great work. Keep it up ;)
     
  9. #9
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    wow, thanks to all, but specially you david, you really moved me. ok, when i say things such as "I’m nothing but his toy", "He gets me on my knees" and stuff like that, I'm reffering to love itself (this goes to everyone who had the kindness of reading this). I wanted to say that love's a real bastard, although i don't feel like that always. i know this kind of sucks and it's really short, but even if it's not a really good one, I believe i said what needed to be said. Otherwise, you'd be eaten by boredom just by reading the first lines. That's just my opinion.
    Thank you so much for your comments guys, I really appreciate it. ^_^
     
  10. #10
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Amazing job.
     

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