i hear it in some the voice of the music someone calling but no one i turn down the volume to listen defening silence i turn up the volume to listen voiced calling where are you come to me they call in a language of lirics come and play with us, we will protect you they sing in a language of sound. come, come to our side, we need your guidence they plead me mercillesly like the black of night. never failing to sing to me i know some of the spelling is off. bear with me. but hopefully you will be able to read it. please comment!
i would have to agree that it does lack some imagery... although i do think the basic feeling is there. maybe work on it alittle and see what else you come up with. we all have to start somewhere...my first poems weren't that great, it takes pratice. some will be better than others. however, your off to a good start! keep at it and i know you will be fab!