new beginning

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Rachel, Apr 21, 2005.

  1. #1
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2004
    Messages:
    5,416
    Likes Received:
    9



    is the world ending
    or is it all in my mind?
    everything i've known is decaying
    the truth is blurring
    (or am i just going blind?)
    will i regress and resort back to praying
    to a false holder of morals?
    (but do i really doubt her existance?)
    there are so many things i could do
    but, shit, i've learned resistance

    and all because of you
    i've felt my world shatter
    you took out my life
    and ripped out what i thought had mattered
    so as i lay here bleeding
    from your penetration
    i want to thank you
    for my reinvention

    is the world ending
    or is it all in my head?
    the ashes of the past are making my eyes bleed
    why can't i wake up
    (am i already dead?)
    or is there something i need?
    but i have everything
    (and nothing all the same)
    a bipolar heart dysfunction
    (oh what a shame)

    and all because of you
    i've felt my world shatter
    you took my life
    and ripped out what i thought had mattered
    so as i lay here bleeding
    from your penetration
    i want to thank you
    for my reinvention

    is the world ending
    or is just a new beginning?
     
  2. #2
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,190
    Likes Received:
    1



    Nice job.
     
  3. #3
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2005
    Messages:
    938
    Likes Received:
    2



    hey, nice work, this really is brilliant, Where have you been?????? :p This is a really great piece of work. It flows extemely well and you can really feel the mesagge penetrate into you. Since you are rhyming alot i thought that it might be good (not saying you have to if you don't like it, it's just an option, to end the chorusy bit with "for this revolaton" instead of "for my reinvention". This is just i choice a came up with while reading. great stuff, keep writing.
     
  4. #4
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0



    These lines rock,the poem is awesome,its thought provoking and has great meaning in it,you seem to have great mastery over words,lol even after reading just one poem of yours I definetly can say this,anyways great write keep it up,hope to see more of ur work.
     

Share This Page