Guilt

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by D_A_V_I_D, Apr 21, 2005.

  1. #1
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Hey guys, has been a while since i've writtin anything, had to go back to school :( .

    Anyway here is a rhyming poem, well it rhymes most of the way, anyway i don't know what you will think of it, heck i don't know what i think of it, but here we go.

    Guilt

    You seem to be my shadow,
    Always keeping pace,
    And I can’t run away,
    From you I can never hide my face,

    You saw what did
    And now you follow me everywhere,
    Why won’t you leave me alone?
    Just get out of my hair.

    I don’t know where you came from,
    Or how or why you choose me,
    But why don’t you go away now,
    Because you presence is smothering me,

    Every second your there,
    I feel the pain grow stronger,
    Why must you make me feel it,
    I don’t know if I can last any longer,

    You have trapped me in this world,
    Of paranoia and doubt,
    Why won’t you get out of my head?
    And let us have our bout.

    Because I must defeat you,
    If a wish to be free of the pain,
    But I can’t kill you with my hands,
    I have to play your games,

    What’s in the past must stay there,
    Why must you make me remember?
    Why must you dig the memories up?
    Of that horrible December,

    Why must you remind me of the who I am,
    All the pain that I have caused,
    Because remembering that I’m a monster,
    Is bringing out my claws.

    I feel the rage build up,
    And know I have no control,
    And now I know why your here,
    To make sure these events don’t unfold.

    My guilt was here to drown me,
    To swallow me up in my own hate,
    To kill me before I became,
    The monster that was my fate,

    So now I see the my problems,
    I feel the guilt build up,
    I take one last breath,
    Before it all goes dark.
     
  2. #2
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    fantastic! ;) me like alot!

    now this bit rocks!!!
     
  3. #3
    a life in ashes

    a life in ashes mercury summer

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    great as usual, keep it up ;)
     
  4. #4
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    THANKS :D
     
  5. #5
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Great work, DAVID.
     
  6. #6
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Thanks, no ones told me off for my rhyming sounding to forced so im happy :lol: :p . Thanks guys for your comments.
     
  7. #7
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

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    Well the question of forced rhyme comes when you try to write a poem with a stanza having 4 lines and all the four having rhymes,otherwise I dont think you can rarely force a rhyme on a poem,anyway about the poem I felt that its superb,considering the fact that you hadnt written this poem before and its a recently written poem,so its like you didint force yourself to write the poem just cause you had to post one here,thats what makes it even better,great write,at 15 if you write such amazing stuff I'm wondering what when you grow up ^_^ .
     
  8. #8
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Well the question of forced rhyme comes when you try to write a poem with a stanza having 4 lines and all the four having rhymes,otherwise I dont think you can rarely force a rhyme on a poem,anyway about the poem I felt that its superb,considering the fact that you hadnt written this poem before and its a recently written poem,so its like you didint force yourself to write the poem just cause you had to post one here,thats what makes it even better,great write,at 15 if you write such amazing stuff I'm wondering what when you grow up ^_^ . [/b][/quote]
    LOL. thanks good to hear from you. Thanks for the comments.
     

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