Weeping Willows

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by USAF.07, Apr 10, 2005.

  1. #1
    USAF.07

    USAF.07 Well-Known Member

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    This is my second poem put up here, I don't consider it as good as the first and maybe could expand it to be longer but it's a shorter one with a central theme of only escaping something terrible in your life by sleeping.

    Weeping Willows

    Walking forward, steps gone astray.
    Clouds darken, cold and gray.
    Willows weep and wind sighs.
    Self-destruction through my eyes.
    Weary heads rest on soft pillows.
    Away from this world of weeping willows.
     
  2. #2
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    You're off to a good start.
     
  3. #3
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    hey, nice work!!! :lol: i want you to know that both of them are really good. this was kind of speacial because not so many people are able to describe emotions, feelings, etc. as well in just a few lines. Congrats, you are such a talented writer! :D
     
  4. #4
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    That is very good, a wee bit short, but great wording; keep it up!
     
  5. #5
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    if this was expanded abit, it would be on rocking poem!
    as it stand, thought, it's still very good.

    very good use of imagery! :D
     
  6. #6
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    not a fan of short poems but this poem ROCKS.

    It's a unique talent to be able to describe so much in so few words. TERRIFIC work. Keep it up!
     
  7. #7
    Muri

    Muri It never ends.

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    Wow,that is good work. Keep it up. ^_^
     
  8. #8
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    i like the rhyme sequence a lot...and the idea is just lovely...you can make some big thing from this for sure!!! continue writing!!!
     

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