darkness

darkness

in the darkness, i feel the safest
is it because of the stillness
it is so calm with no noise
i could stay in the dark forever
i am alone, i am always alone

but i don't feel alone when i'm walking in the night
i feel more alone while amonst people, everyone
with them i have to talk, act, be someone
but in the stillness of the night
i can be me, lonesome as it is

i just want to be loved for who i am
throughout my life and into my death
unconditional love, thats all
the future is bright, they say, but i can not see it
you have much to live for, but i still don't see it

ok how was that?

 

i immensely immensely loved thefirst and second para and the last line....loved it too much!i can sooo relate to them...
keep up the darn good work!

 

This was very good. I felt that the 3rd verse was a bit abrupt.
this is because you went from how much you love the darkness. into all of a sudden you need love. I like the idea and meaning of this poem and if i have you permission i'd like to do my own version of this poem. posted here of course.

 

of course you have my permission.
if this can be improved, well so let it be!

 

ok my version, a bit rough cause i just finished it, but here we go

The darkness is the place
That I call home,
Still and peaceful
No one can bother me,
The darkness is my haven
From the rest of the world
No one can hurt me here
But in the darkness I’m all alone

In the sun and light
Where most people like to be
Is what I try to avoid,
So people won’t judge me,
In the light I have to act,
Put on a show so I won’t be judged,
In the light among the people,
I’m lonelier than even in the dark,

But the darkness can’t provide,
Everything I need,
It can’t provide me,
With emotions like love,
For that I need to go to,
The race I hate the most,
So ill stay in the dark,
And if I have to die here all alone

They say the futures bright,
But my future is dark,
That’s the way I want it to be,
To stay here and never be judged,
They say there is so much to live for,
But I can’t see there point,
I can either be lonely in the dark,
Or be judged by those in the light.

 

whow! what else can i say.
F**KING BRILL!!!

 

both versions are awesome, and i can say i can relate to them. You guys rule!

 

wow, both r great!! B)

 

Coool,from the very first poem of yours I had this feeling that you are a good poet and you have proved it right once again,I liked the topioc chose very very much,I too want to write a poem on this topic,great poem,keep it up